Friday, April 13, 2012

5 Minute Blog: I need to relax...

I’m so close to the edge right now…I don’t know what to do.

I am tired of my hair.

Yes, you read that right…I AM TIRED OF MY HAIR.

I’m so over being natural, I just don’t know what to do. Should I cut it? Should I leave it alone and let it continue to do what God intended? Should I get a Dominican blow out? SHOULD I RELAX IT?..I blame longhaircareforum for having me to believe going natural would be easy.

Should.I.Relax.It? or as many of us black women say “perm” it.

I think I might. Within the next week I might. Right now at home I have one of those Crème of Nature Argon Oil Relaxers I received from Crème of Nature a few months ago. But let’s back track…

I went natural in September 2009 by default. I love braids, a lot. So I usually rock them 8 weeks on, 2 weeks off. However, I went through this phase of back to back braids and realized that it was crazy to keep relaxing my hair in between braid styles, so I stopped. After a few months, I had this crazy half relaxed, half 4ab hair thing going on and late one night, I chopped off all the relaxed hair. It was actually quite interesting and to be honest, I looked like a little lightskinned African girl. I didn’t have any clue what to do with my hair…so back to braids it was.

Months later, my hair is very healthy and growing out. I was ecstatic about the health of my hair but the texture? I had issues with that. Don’t get it twisted, I love my hair but I am too lazy to put in the proper work necessary to maintain my hair type. If anyone ever tells you that natural hair is easier, they are lying OR they have type 2 or 3a/b hair. That’s just how I feel. My sister has wavy hair and wash and goes are beyond easy for her. I can’t wash and go anywhere unless I want to look like hot mess. I won’t lie…my afro ponytail can be awesome if I’m able to get it just right. But detangling takes hours and I just didn’t come here for that…lol.

Despite everyone’s love for my hair, the fact is: ITS MY HAIR. They don’t have to handle it, I do. So weekly I have been looking at this relaxer kit trying to decide if it’s the best move. Many women consider their hair their “crown and glory”. To me, it’s just hair. I can buy some new hair, or grow some new hair…its not that serious to me.

Right now my hair is in this pinned up style. It’s okay. I only think it’s cute when I have my glasses on. When my glasses are off, I’m lost in this world. I didn’t pay $500 for new contacts to keep wearing my glasses. I’m just frustrated and no amount of youtube videos can help me learn how to style my hair. It always comes out wrong. It’s slightly fucked up because I can style anyone else’s hair. I can do braids, curls, waves, natural styles, etc. I will HOOK YOU UP. But when it comes to my own hair? No go.

So I’m thinking I’m about to throw this relaxer in and just let it do what it do. If my hair falls out, I’ll just go ahead and cut it off and throw some micros in my hair. Who cares? (besides Tupac…)

Anyway…Happy Friday the 13th.

follow me on twitter:


  1. I'm curious what your hair routine is, I need to get in your

  2. even though I sound like a hypocrite, I dont think that you should relax it, why not try a weave out? It'll be a different (protective) style and you get to keep your natural

  3. Don't do it!!! lol I can totally understand how you feel. I did the BC 12/09/11 after transitioning for a year. I hated it at first! But now I LOVE my hair. What most people fail to realize is that you have to do MUCH more to take care of natural hair than you do permed hair. I have so many "routines" now just to make sure my hair remains healthy and grows like I want it to.
    I have found that the longer my hair gets..the more creative I get with it. I never wear it straight anymore. I also wear my curls because I'm so in love with them! I watched hella youtube to get ideas and help. Once I cut all the permed ends off I no longer had the issue to tangling. I mean, I still have to work thru it but it's NO where near how it used to be.
    You're the end of it all it IS YOUR hair and you have to deal. My only advice is... you've worked so hard during this transition. You've come so far. I'm sure so many people have felt the way you feel during this journey but I wouldn't do it! I wouldn't mind chatting with you over email to give you some pointers :)
    Good luck on whatever you decide. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your sanity! lol

  4. lock it, get locks girl, you will never have to wonder what to with it again