Thursday, February 9, 2012

5 Minute Blogs: Ain't You Married Tho?

I don't know if I am getting older or if I just notice racthetness more often now, but there seems to be an upsurge of married men (and perhaps women) cheating on their spouses. I know both sexes cheat, but I can only really remark on my own experiences of married men doin the most.

First off, I think marriage is sacred. That's a committment two people make before God saying "We want to be together forever." I respect that to the fullest. At the same time, I understand that every relationship is different and what I think is right or true for me and mine might not be the same for you and yours. That's fine. With that being said...why are married men so noncholant about being married now? It's almost to the point where I don't even want to get married. I do trust my judgement as far as "marriage" goes but I'll be the first to admit I have never been in a faithful boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I'm always being cheated on, and that's probably because I'm a jerk. I tell people all the time "The LAST thing you want is for me to not care anymore." And I mean it. Either way I am not a great boyfriend picker. So enough with boyfriends.

Anyway...back to the topic at hand. My best friend hits me up recently about going on a date with a married man, and there is another married man interested in her. A few of my other girl friends are in the same boat. Some of them are dating married men and some of them are just constantly having to turn a married man down. I don't get how women "date" married men but that's none of my business. It just amazes me that there are so many men out there who are married but still want to do their own thing. Why did you get married?

I understand some people have "open" relationships. That's fine. But what I'm talking about is the sneaky people talking about "don't text me after 8 pm", "send me a picture to my secret email", "nah my wife don't know but she don't care anyway". Stuff like that. And then men try to justify their actions "i got married too young", "she doing her thing too", "she don't want to have sex no more" or something. I don't know. I can't.

Either way. STOP IT FAM.

Stop getting married if you want to sleep with other chicks still. If you decide you want to do your thing after you get married, then get divorced. Why cheat? Why sneak around? Why have your wife facebooking random girls talking about "Why are you LIKING my man's status all the time?"
That shit is the worst.

I hate y'all.

Shout out to the men who don't cheat on their wives. I know like, 4 of y'all.


  1. I'm thinking that dating married men (or women) is the closest some of us may ever get to see what a marriage looks like. Things seem so screwed up for us when it comes to love relationships. We have no models. We've made a habit out of gathering information about what we don't want because that's the only choice we have left. Like living in and never having left a bad neighborhood thinking "I don't know what I want, but I know it aint this."

  2. Super loud applause for you. I like like like like like like like this entry VERY much. If someone cannot be faithful, they should re-check their purpose of getting married in the first place. If they're not happy, then, just get a divorce or separate for a while. The thing is, most of these people, they just want the 'side-dishes'. And some people just don't mind being the side dish. How degrading it is to be told 'don't text me after 8pm'?

    (the real thing they wanna say is 'i'm with my wife and kids after 8pm and i don't want my wife to find out about me cheating coz i love her and i don't wanna get into an argument because of u. She's more important to me than u are. I cannot afford to get a divorce').

    1. It's all about values and character, and choices. I applaude you and this article....marriage is sacred and don't ever stop believing that - hold tight to your strong character and high values - in the end you will find that it is priceless and are you...respect.

  3. I don't really see the difference between a married person cheating and someone in a relationship cheating. It's the same thing for me, and as far as that goes I have seen just as many women do it as I have men.
    I don't know why people do it, and you know what, it's none of our concern. I used to look at this like "how can anyone do that, it's the worst thing you can do to someone else, only awful people do that", but you know what, I've met some really nice people that have cheated. And you know why that is? Because no one is perfect, we all have flaws and weaknesses, some cheat, some get involved with someone who's taken (and quite frankly, where I used to think I could never do that I have learned that I am not as high and mighty as I used to think, and I now go by the principle that other people's relationships are none of my business - if the guy cheats on his gf then there's something wrong with him or his relationship, my actions have no impact whatsoever on that), yet other people are too lazy to get a job and expect someone else to take care of them, others change their mind all the time, etc. Everyone has their own issues to deal with and while being faithful might seem easy to us, it obviously isn't to others. If they want to work on that they will, if not they won't.
    The only thing that should matter to US is to choose someone who would NOT cheat and who would make sure to break up before anything like that happens. And THAT just might be our issue: choosing the wrong guys.

    I don't know, 2012 to me is all about what can I do and not what can/should someone else do and why/how/whatever do they not.


  4. What does it say about your friends who date married men?

  5. My friends who date married men ain't shit.

  6. How you tell a married female friend to quit, though???? UGH!!!!!

  7. Wow I stumbled on this blog and it has made my night ,firstly I adore your views on marriage its truely beautiful ,the way society has made marriage such a easy thing to accept ending ,what ever happened to forever ,there is a Ben harper song called forever off his cruel world album if you dont know it check it out ,dont give up on it there are still people who believe .my grand parents divorced an my pop re married ,yet my nan never did raised 5 kids an was at church every Sunday ,i often think of her and have said many times that they broke the mould with her,its sad in ways but beautiful ,marriage is sacred an you should only do it once,i hope the old ways dont get lost like u my faith is well lets just say you never know, thanks for this chance to share strange how much I needed it ,may the blessings and peace of god be with you .

  8. I totally agree with u. Keep your dick in pants if you are married, what is actually marriage for?