Friday, December 30, 2011

True Life: Drinking and Driving on 295 North

First off let me say I can't believe it's Dec 30, 2011 already. I haven't blogged as much this year as I had hoped, due to several issues. Either way, I want to end this year on a high note. I don't plan to make any resolutions and to be honest, I will probably not do a reflection blog. But I do want to share a hilarious story with you. A cautionary tale about why you shouldn't drink and drive on NYE's...

So a few years, my cousin Crystal (click her name and see her on twitter. she's a sexy model) and I decide to party it up in D.C. I am pretty sure we went to Love and we had a good time. We got quite drunk...not too drunk that I couldn't drive but just tipsy enough for me to recognize that one or two more drinks and it would be a wrap. So we decide to go back to Baltimore. We on 295 North. Halfway up 295 we realize that all the traffic is stopped. Now I'm pissed because I  have to pee and I already had to take her home then go back to my house. We are sitting their kind of oblivious to what's going on.

10 minutes later, a black thug looking dude knocks on my window. Crystal is like don't open it! I'm like he can't kill us with ALL these people around. So I roll it down a little and he informs me that there is a DUI checkpoint up ahead. Immediately I'm kind of shook. It doesn't take much to get me drunk and while I'm not really drunk, I know I reek of liquor. He then says "Look, I'm too drunk to drive. I will give y'all some money if you drive me past the checkpoint and two stops up to meet my girlfriend." He flashes $20 (#sigh) and I am like oh the cops are up ahead, sure get in.

He gets in the back and proceeds to have the most gangsta conversation with someone. Talking about the club, his girl, hustling, all this mess. He mentions how he parked his car on the side of the highway and to send one of his "boys" to come pick it up. One who is clean. I am like OMG we are stupid. Crystal is drunk and half sleep. We pull up to the cops and you know how that goes. I am chewing HARD on a piece of gum.

Cop: "ma'am where are you coming from"
Me: "Love the Club"
Cop: "Have you been drinking?"
Me: " or two drinks. Nothing too serious."
Crystal: "Hey officer!!!!!" (at this point, his partner goes to her side and begins chatting it up with her. She's flirting so it's nothing"
Me: "I'm NOT drunk"
Cop: *flashes light in back, dude in back waves* Okay ma'am. Ya'll be safe.

And we pull off. Drop random dude off at the exit and keep it moving to Baltimore $20 richer.

That short event made me realize the magnitude of the situation. I had the fear of God put in me. There have been plenty of times when I have drank (drunk?/drinked?) and drove. Thankfully no one got hurt. Yes, there was that one time I hit that car on 33rd street BUT no one was in it and it was parked funny. Either way one thing I never want to do is go to jail. Since then, no drinking and driving. What really helps is not having  a car.

Happy New Year's Everyone.

Party hard. 
But Drink Responsibly.