Monday, October 3, 2011

Life in NYC: One Year Later

I moved to NY on Saturday, Oct 2, 2010. Today marks my one year anniversary. Time flies. In that time, I have learned a lot and I have grown as a person; but at the same time, I'm still the same old Stephanie. You ever want something so bad that you don't think about anything else but that one thing. Your whole life becomes consumed with having it and you don't think of pros/cons of that situation?

Yep...that was me and New York.

I wanted to be here so bad it hurt. I felt the yearning to be here down deep in my soul. And it wasn't a "come to NY to make all my dreams come true" type thing...I just felt I NEEDED to be here and experience life here. And I am, and I did. And it has been an emotional roller coaster ever since.

When I got the job offer from NYU it felt like a blessing. That was my way out of Baltimore and onto bigger and better things. To say I am  not sad about leaving Baltimore and Healthy Start would be a lie. I loved that job more than any other one I had (though I am sure I didn't show it) and since then I have been trying to find a way back into maternal and child health...I was just over my life in Maryland. The first half of 2010 was emotionally wrecking, I needed to get out.

Within a month of moving to NY, I wanted to leave. I was depressed beyond words. I don't think a day passed when I wasn't crying. This was not what I came here for. I couldn't explain how deep into despair I was nor did I want to...I was overcome with sadness. Thankfully, I know some dope ass people who invited me everywhere and kept me quiet busy with all day brunches and tea lounges. Maurice, Julius, Rain, and Jessica are such dope ass people and they don't know how much I appreciate being included in their outings, even if it was one day a week. It helped me to not be unhappy all of the time.
I won't recount the whole year but just to overview:
  • I lost the NYU job.
  • I got two new jobs that are dope. 
  • I moved out of my first NYC apt and into a new place with two roommates. I really wanted to blog on this situation but I decided not to. That's how pissed I am about it. I will say this, in case my former roommate is reading: You had the upperhand because I was living in YOUR home. If that hadn't been the case, and if I wasn't worried about you blacking out and throwing my stuff out, things would have been handled differently. I, nor any of my friends, ever disrespected you. I am sorry you felt that I wasn't being "friendly" enough to you. But we had a business arrangement and even after several of your tantrums, I tried to remain civil to you. However, its' for the best. I am where I need to be and hopefully you will find happiness in your own fucked up life one day.
  • I lost a good friend (not my roommmate...lls).
  • I gained a dope ass friend (my nigga...who I'd name but people will make assumptions and let's just avoid that) 
  • I spent New Year's Eve in Times Square (killing my bucket list)
  • I was on unemployment 
I guess I could name more random things about my life. However, I won't. Suffice to say, NYC has been a learning experience.  I can't say if I will stay here an additional year. I want to make this work but I am tired. Sometimes the juice ain't worth the squeeze. I am finally getting around to applying to get a DPH. I took the GREs and my scores are well above what is required. I can't say that I am  mad about my life here...it's just not what I expected. It's been a mix of good and bad. I want it to all be good. My friend says it takes 2 or 3 years for someone to get the full experience of living here. I don't know if I can emotionally handle another year.

However, I am glad I moved here. There is nowhere else I'd rather be. God willing, next year when I make this thread, it will be 100 times better. That's if the world is not nearing the deadly 2012 apocalypse. And the zombies haven't taken over.