Monday, May 30, 2011

True Life: Interracial Loving...

First let me preface this by saying I have NEVER been a traditional "interracial" relationship and by that I mean, I have never dated anyone white. I have dated a Puerto Rican and a guy from the Phillipines. But that's the extent of me dating outside of my race. I stick to other "minorities". That being said, I have never experienced the stares or the hate that comes along with walking down the street with a white person beside me. I have heard stories from other women and men. My sister and her boyfriend (white!) even got into a fight with some strangers over their love. And of course I have rolled my eyes a time or two when I was younger when I have seen black and white couples. Not that I wanted that man, or that I cared but because it seemed to be the thing to do. In Richmond, mixed couples are just not that common at all.  However once I moved to Columbia MD I was in for a culture shock. Everyone dated outside of their race and if you didn't, something was wrong with you. I progressed and seemingly, I thought the world had too...but I was wrong.

Let me tell you what happened to ME.

So the other day I am out with the typical brunch crew and we had just finished eating a wonderful Italian meal and were walking around enjoying a beautiful Brooklyn day. My boy Jules (he's white and funny) and I were walking ahead of everyone else talking. As we cross the street I notice two African American/black women sitting ice grilling us HARD as fuck. I mean they made no attempts to cover up their disdain for us and it tripped me up for a second. I immediately got defensive and put my arm around Jules as if he were my man and cuddled up close to him. Rain laughed. I looked back and could see the women still starring hard and rolling their eyes like "Look at this bitch all up on this ofay." Wait...they probably didn't say ofay. Probably white man. Of course the arm around Jules is the one with Malcolm X all up on it. Jules, all caught up in the convo, didn't even notice these chicks. He thought they were "eye fucking" him, and we were like NO  they were starring hard like they wanted it with us. We were about to get jumped! (Not really...). How perfect for a lightskinned girl who is looking super Boho with a Malcolm X tattoo to be hanging on a white man dressed casual cool with a kangol on? I hope it killed them.

I'm telling this story because this is the FIRST time I've personally experienced any hate for walking around with someone of another race. Jules, of course, is always the token white in our group and he's use to it so I guess nothing phases him. But I was pissed that anyone would even look like they were going to question WHY I was with him. While we are just friends, if I was fucking him, it's no one's business. I can never understand why people are so wrapped up in other people's relationships. I just...#pause. I'm not doing a rant today. NOPE.

Suffice to say it was a learning experience. I thought Brooklyn as a whole was better than that...but that goes to show you that I can't assume because a place is so progressive that the people would be also.

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Friday, May 27, 2011

Update: Vision Board

Okay last year in August, I posted a video about my Vision Board (see it here: Vision Board Post). People have been asking me updates and initially I was going to do a VLOG but I can't get it together so I'll just do a real quick break down of how things have been going! I hope this helps someone....

  • Inner Self: This is an ongoing process. I made a commitment to become more honest, put myself first but at the same time let more people into my life. I am still VERY weary of who I let into my inner circle. Unfortunately this has caused quite a few issues this past week or so, and I can't explain to anyone how I feel about things, so either you get it or you don't. But I have to look out for me, and I can't get any more honest than that.
  • Money: Again another on going process. I paid off a lot of debt in the past year. I also moved in the past year (from Baltimore to Brooklyn). Moving costs a lot of money! But this move was good because I got a better job and I make more money now, so I can save more. My credit report is still a work in process, but I have increased it by 100 points in the past year. How about that? Shout out to myfico.com and Credit Karma. I paid off half of my state debt. Shout out to MD.
  • School: Right now I am looking into schools for the fall of 2012. I have identified one that I really love. I took my GRE and I have identified topics that I want to use for my dissertation. Now the applying process begins. 
  • Outer-Self: If vitamin water counts as water, then I drink water all day everyday. I still take a multi-vitamin. I eat better, I don't exercise as much as I should (or at all....) but I have gotten into meditation and that's awesome.
  • Relationships: The build is so serious. I have been connecting with a lot of great people lately and I am hoping to form better alliances/connections/etc with others. 
  • Generalities: Again I moved so it's like...things changed. I did get a new place (of course). No car, I don't need one in NY. No passport still...Finish book? Almost done. ALMOST. But I did look into publishing it as an e-book. I have my reasons for this, and I think that if I can make that happen it will open the doors for other things. So hopefully by the end of the summer. And New Year's Eve in NYC happened.
So overall,  I think the vision board was a great motivation tool even if I didn't fully complete everything. As the days, weeks, months go by, things change so I had to make adjustments to my life and to my vision for my future. I have currently making a new vision board, which will be a little more streamlined with the traditional view of a vision board and will  include my hopes/goals for the rest of 2011 into 2012.

P.S. I love looking at other's visions boards...so let me know (here or on twitter) where I can view yours! We can work together.

P.P.S. Do better...is the movement.