This is the first year I've been single for Valentine's Day since 2003. I'm somewhat of a serial dater. I can't be single for too long. However, these past months have been different. I've been searching for myself and trying to figure my life out. That doesn't mean I want to be single, it just means it's been necessary the past few months.
But moving forward, I decided earlier today to write a blog about being single and Valentine's Day. I was going to take the stance of the newly single woman, going out treating herself, kicking it with her girls...you know. Doing that Destiny Child's "Independent Women" shit. Then I said "Who am I kidding?" LOL.
I honestly wish I did have a Valentine. I want flowers, candy, and some type of fancy gift. I want to go out to dinner in a nice ass dress with some **** me heels on. I want to be courted. Why is that so difficult to find? Why can't I find an old fashion man who wants to pick me up at the door and take me out for a night on the town? I think I'm awesome enough. Whatever...
So okay that's what I was going to write on. But then in the midst of me getting my thoughts together tragedy struck. And someone I know lost his 8 year old son. I will be honest, his death was not unexpected. He had been suffering from embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma for years. It was now in stage 4. He was only given a few days or a few weeks to live. Despite knowing this, the death of a child is always hard. Especially on the parents. (no need to name names...if you know them, pray for strength. if not, still pray.) There was an outpouring of love to him from a variety of people, friends and "foes". Love. It is beautiful.
Suffice in that moment, Valentine's Day became unimportant. Ironically death reminds you to enjoy life. What seems like a big deal or so extra important is really quite minuscule once you look at the bigger picture. This is not about me but I cried, because I know the pain of losing a loved one to cancer, losing a child, and the struggle it is to stay strong when all you want to do is break down. The sad thing is that while we realize what's really important in moments like these, they tend to dissipate as time goes on. Then we end up at the exact same spot we are now until another one falls.
While there is so much more I want to say, I fail to find the right words to describe how I feel inside. Sad to hear of the passing of a child. Happy because I know we can come together. I think Scarface summed up everything in his verse...