Thursday, January 6, 2011

Look At This Bitch Over Here Trying To Act Like Me...

Lawd Lawd Lawd. (5 minute blog...starting now!)

Okay so earlier today I read a piece written by "Da Writer" about Women and Respect, simply called "Women Don't Get Respect because They Don't Respect Each Other" (please click on link and read for yourself). The title basically sums up the article. You don't have to guess what he's going to say...it's quite clear. No Snark.

His first premise is "how can you complain about the way men treat you when you treat each other ten times worse?" followed by "no offense." Should we/I take offense? I don't know. I am slightly offended because what does one thing have to do with another. A lot apparently. Let's discuss this real quick.

First off, he's absolutely right...women are disgustingly mean to other women. Why? I say 90% of the time, it's over a man. It's probably higher but I don't believe any exact studies have been done in regards to this phenomenon. Women HATE each other. (FYI...we are speaking generalities, not totalities). There is nothing I hate more than a woman who says "I can't be friends with another woman..." or "Women are too much trouble..." I can't stand it. I am actually the opposite. I wish I had MORE female friends to build and bond with. Don't get me wrong, my best friends are my girls for life. They are my family. But sometimes I want to do stuff and I don't know another woman I can call to kick it with me. It's hard for a grown woman to make friends...and why?

Because of this "I can't be friends with other women" mentality.

I don't know where this comes from. And you know what's sad, I only hear this in the black community. Now don't get me wrong, I am sure other races have their issues too but really it's always my beautiful black women talking about how they hate other women.  Perhaps its because of the lack of quality black men in our community? There is some type of competition for the men left, and if you and I are friends...then you might get the man meant for me?

I don't understand. And to go back to his original topic, I can see why men will say and do anything they want to women. We do it to each other. We say "This bitch..." "That hoe..." etc...so why should my jaw drop when I am called "A bitch" (by the way it does...call me a bitch and I'll probably call your mom a bitch just to make you mad). Respect has to be earned.

The phrase "you can't expect others to respect you unless you respect yourself" is most fitting in this situation. Black women (or any women for that matter) can not expect men to respect of us if we can't respect each other.

6 comments:

  1. Not to be all captain save'em-ish, but a real (read: older) man simply won't come out of his mouth all kinds of ways to a woman unless a)its in jest with his boys or b)he's angry. How women treat each other shouldn't even enter into the equation..As an aside, I should mention that I just got married, so my answers are disgustingly hopeful and altruistic

    ReplyDelete
  2. Men speak to eachother disrespectfully and demeaning as a way to socialize. Women do the same. This should not justify debasing cross-gender relations. Full stop.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think that is one thing I hate the most. Drives me nuts when people say no disrespect or don't take offense.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

    ReplyDelete
  4. Steph, it really irks me when I hear other women say they hate other women too! To me it's almost a form of self-hate...how could you go aorund saying you hate someone who's make up is basically the same as yours?! I think when we get older it becomes harder to make real connections to other people...and with other women? Ugh, even worse! I wish that we stood as a united front against men because breaking each other down is not cool.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Pascalle: I think you're right, but its different. Men jab at one another all the time, and its a natural sort of bonding thing. Most women are just not capable of taking an insult and not taking it internally. Even if they laugh it off, they remember and it just contributes to later drama.

    ReplyDelete