Friday, December 30, 2011

True Life: Drinking and Driving on 295 North

First off let me say I can't believe it's Dec 30, 2011 already. I haven't blogged as much this year as I had hoped, due to several issues. Either way, I want to end this year on a high note. I don't plan to make any resolutions and to be honest, I will probably not do a reflection blog. But I do want to share a hilarious story with you. A cautionary tale about why you shouldn't drink and drive on NYE's...

So a few years, my cousin Crystal (click her name and see her on twitter. she's a sexy model) and I decide to party it up in D.C. I am pretty sure we went to Love and we had a good time. We got quite drunk...not too drunk that I couldn't drive but just tipsy enough for me to recognize that one or two more drinks and it would be a wrap. So we decide to go back to Baltimore. We on 295 North. Halfway up 295 we realize that all the traffic is stopped. Now I'm pissed because I  have to pee and I already had to take her home then go back to my house. We are sitting their kind of oblivious to what's going on.

10 minutes later, a black thug looking dude knocks on my window. Crystal is like don't open it! I'm like he can't kill us with ALL these people around. So I roll it down a little and he informs me that there is a DUI checkpoint up ahead. Immediately I'm kind of shook. It doesn't take much to get me drunk and while I'm not really drunk, I know I reek of liquor. He then says "Look, I'm too drunk to drive. I will give y'all some money if you drive me past the checkpoint and two stops up to meet my girlfriend." He flashes $20 (#sigh) and I am like oh the cops are up ahead, sure get in.

He gets in the back and proceeds to have the most gangsta conversation with someone. Talking about the club, his girl, hustling, all this mess. He mentions how he parked his car on the side of the highway and to send one of his "boys" to come pick it up. One who is clean. I am like OMG we are stupid. Crystal is drunk and half sleep. We pull up to the cops and you know how that goes. I am chewing HARD on a piece of gum.

Cop: "ma'am where are you coming from"
Me: "Love the Club"
Cop: "Have you been drinking?"
Me: "Ummm...one or two drinks. Nothing too serious."
Crystal: "Hey officer!!!!!" (at this point, his partner goes to her side and begins chatting it up with her. She's flirting so it's nothing"
Me: "I'm NOT drunk"
Cop: *flashes light in back, dude in back waves* Okay ma'am. Ya'll be safe.

And we pull off. Drop random dude off at the exit and keep it moving to Baltimore $20 richer.

That short event made me realize the magnitude of the situation. I had the fear of God put in me. There have been plenty of times when I have drank (drunk?/drinked?) and drove. Thankfully no one got hurt. Yes, there was that one time I hit that car on 33rd street BUT no one was in it and it was parked funny. Either way one thing I never want to do is go to jail. Since then, no drinking and driving. What really helps is not having  a car.

Happy New Year's Everyone.

Party hard. 
But Drink Responsibly.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Life in NYC: One Year Later

I moved to NY on Saturday, Oct 2, 2010. Today marks my one year anniversary. Time flies. In that time, I have learned a lot and I have grown as a person; but at the same time, I'm still the same old Stephanie. You ever want something so bad that you don't think about anything else but that one thing. Your whole life becomes consumed with having it and you don't think of pros/cons of that situation?

Yep...that was me and New York.

I wanted to be here so bad it hurt. I felt the yearning to be here down deep in my soul. And it wasn't a "come to NY to make all my dreams come true" type thing...I just felt I NEEDED to be here and experience life here. And I am, and I did. And it has been an emotional roller coaster ever since.

When I got the job offer from NYU it felt like a blessing. That was my way out of Baltimore and onto bigger and better things. To say I am  not sad about leaving Baltimore and Healthy Start would be a lie. I loved that job more than any other one I had (though I am sure I didn't show it) and since then I have been trying to find a way back into maternal and child health...I was just over my life in Maryland. The first half of 2010 was emotionally wrecking, I needed to get out.

Within a month of moving to NY, I wanted to leave. I was depressed beyond words. I don't think a day passed when I wasn't crying. This was not what I came here for. I couldn't explain how deep into despair I was nor did I want to...I was overcome with sadness. Thankfully, I know some dope ass people who invited me everywhere and kept me quiet busy with all day brunches and tea lounges. Maurice, Julius, Rain, and Jessica are such dope ass people and they don't know how much I appreciate being included in their outings, even if it was one day a week. It helped me to not be unhappy all of the time.
I won't recount the whole year but just to overview:
  • I lost the NYU job.
  • I got two new jobs that are dope. 
  • I moved out of my first NYC apt and into a new place with two roommates. I really wanted to blog on this situation but I decided not to. That's how pissed I am about it. I will say this, in case my former roommate is reading: You had the upperhand because I was living in YOUR home. If that hadn't been the case, and if I wasn't worried about you blacking out and throwing my stuff out, things would have been handled differently. I, nor any of my friends, ever disrespected you. I am sorry you felt that I wasn't being "friendly" enough to you. But we had a business arrangement and even after several of your tantrums, I tried to remain civil to you. However, its' for the best. I am where I need to be and hopefully you will find happiness in your own fucked up life one day.
  • I lost a good friend (not my roommmate...lls).
  • I gained a dope ass friend (my nigga...who I'd name but people will make assumptions and let's just avoid that) 
  • I spent New Year's Eve in Times Square (killing my bucket list)
  • I was on unemployment 
I guess I could name more random things about my life. However, I won't. Suffice to say, NYC has been a learning experience.  I can't say if I will stay here an additional year. I want to make this work but I am tired. Sometimes the juice ain't worth the squeeze. I am finally getting around to applying to get a DPH. I took the GREs and my scores are well above what is required. I can't say that I am  mad about my life here...it's just not what I expected. It's been a mix of good and bad. I want it to all be good. My friend says it takes 2 or 3 years for someone to get the full experience of living here. I don't know if I can emotionally handle another year.

However, I am glad I moved here. There is nowhere else I'd rather be. God willing, next year when I make this thread, it will be 100 times better. That's if the world is not nearing the deadly 2012 apocalypse. And the zombies haven't taken over.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

True Life: I went to see a psychic

I have been in NY a little less than a year (my anniversary will be Oct 4, 2011) and in that time, I've been to Times Square a handful of times. This weekend my PNC, Pam, came to visit and we had a nice time. We went to a New York Fashion Week Show (Charlotte Ronson). It sucked. I mean, the show was good and we saw celebs and took pictures but Charlotte Ronson's Spring 2012 collection sucked terribly. I don't know how she got put on but whoever did that needs to be smacked. However, I will admit her make up line at Sephora is much better. MUCH BETTER.

Anyway, Sunday comes and Pam and I decide to be tourists. We are in Times Square and pass a man holding a sign for a $5 Palm Reading. How could we pass that up? I need to know my fortune, let's go. Now I'll admit, I have wanted to go to a psychic for a while but I've been scared of what they will say (I'll die young, I'll never have kids, I'll be a cat lady which is super scary because I am scared of cats....), so I have avoided it. And I like to fancy myself a psychic from time to time (though my premonitions are often times very negative so I don't like to play around with dark arts but that's for another blog); however, I can't tell my own future which is often the draw back to having a sixth sense if you believe in that sort of thing. ANYWAY DOE....

We go and I let the women read my palm first. And she was surprisingly very positive.
  • I will have a long life well past my 80s (my grandmas are both mid 80s)
  • I'm having difficulty in love with someone I care a lot about
  • I need to relax and enjoy love
  • She sees me more in an artistic career or doing something with my hands. Around Nov or Dec I will experience a career change (this was mentioned in Astrologyzone too...so hmmm...) 
  • I am a very lucky person ("No I'm not lucky I'm blessed: Yes!
  • Once I get married (to the person above perhaps) that it will be permanent, happy, and we won't get divorced
She said some other random things but these are the most important ones. All this for the low cost of $10. She had a $25 deal where she told your future in life and love, which I was really interested in after the palm reading. However, I didn't want to pay that much money. If she said $20, I would have easily dropped that money on the table. Pam was hesitant (I won't share her reading). Then when Pam got home all of a sudden it was "When I come back we should go back and do the reading".

I'm a believer. Not in this particular psychic but in the ability to read palms, see into the future, etc etc. The dark arts and occult things are a fascination of mine. People often look at me strange when I mention this because I am a Christian and it apparently goes "against the teachings of the Bible". I don't have time for all that type of debate. I just know she motivated me. She touched on a few things that was on my mind for the past couple of months and now I feel that some light has been shed on things. I don't believe in coincidences. I am sure some will say that there is a standard script they use, and while that may be true...I think they are good at honing in on what a particular person needs, which is the most important part. The fact that several things she stated I have been thinking about (career wise and in regards to love life) and the fact that she said things stated in my horoscope lead me to believe that those truly are the areas I need to address and stop ignoring and hoping they will become what I want them to be.

It was all very interesting.

Now I wonder if any of my blog followers have went to a psychic and if so, what did (s)he say and how accurate did you find them to be?

Author's Note: *mom don't answer, I already know yours*

Monday, August 1, 2011

True Life: My neighbors think I am being abused...

I debated with myself for a few hours on whether or not I wanted to tell this story. Then I realized I haven't blogged in a while and without going in depth about my life and whats going on in it, I decided to just share this funny albeit sad anecdote.

Anyone who knows me knows that I bruise incredibly easy and I am quite careless with myself. I have a bad habit of rushing and not really paying attention to where I'm walking so I bump into things a lot. This leaves bruises all over my legs, and sometimes my arms. I also believe that the issues I have with my ear cause me not to be as balanced as I wish. Anyway I have this terrible ass black and purple bruise on my leg and when I am wearing shorts it's quite visible.  *Note: This is not the actual bruise. But this is my leg and a bruise I got when I moved.

A male friend decides to hang out with me last night. Being the black people we are, we decide to go get some chicken from the local chicken spot. I put on shorts. Normally I'd wear pants but it's night time and I believe no one will really be in the spot. Plus its just a "small" bruise. As we are standing in the store we are joking around waiting on our 9 piece and fries. A couple walks in and she orders some mozzarella sticks and sits at the table. My friend has to make a call so he moves closer to the door, and I hear her yell out:

"Hey ma! You alright?"

Now I'm thinking she's talking to the older crackhead like lady who had stepped in the spot after them so I pay her no mind. But I look her way and she's like "Yeah you ma" and points to my leg. "Are you good? Are you okay"

And it hits me: She thinks my male friend did this. She is looking at him like he ain't shit. I glance at him because she is LOUD and I assume he hears her but he's wrapped up in his call. I look back at her and say "Oh I'm fine. I'm good" and she has that yeah ok look on her face. Now in my mind, she's loud because she wants him to hear her and say some shit so she can call her man and be like "OH HELL NO NIGGA! You might WHUP her ass but you ain't touching me!!!"

We get our food and walk out the store. I look at him and bust out laughing. I'm like "Did you hear her?" and of course he didn't. I retell him the story and he's like "Why didn't you say NO HE DIDN'T DO IT!" or something similar. In my mind, saying I was good was good enough. This story is NOT funny to him and he doesn't want to be looked at as Ike. But the good part, at least someone cared enough to ask.

In retrospect I am pretty sure they didn't believe me. Now I feel like anytime I see her or her man, they will look at me with sad eyes thinking I let this dude beat all over on me and leave bruises all up and down my leg.

What can you do?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Secret Life of the American Teen just got REAL



Secret Life of the American Teenager is one of my favorite shows on ABC Family. I feel in love with it a few seasons ago and I have been watching ever since. I will admit, it's not a particularly "good" show but the show's writers try hard to show how open dialogue can go between a parent and child. While it's not ideal, it's' interesting. Plus it's from the makers of 7th Heaven, so you KNOW what that means.

Anyway the story line basically follows a girl named Amy who got pregnant at band camp. She decides to have the baby and gives birth to a healthy baby boy. Her and the father, Ricky, are not together but decide to work together and raise the child. Simple enough. Fast forward to last season when the  Adrian (Ricky's ex) gets pregnant by Ben (Amy's ex)...are you still following along? These kids have a lot of sex. When Adrian becomes pregnant I am almost 100% sure that either it was a false positive or she'd have an abortion/miscarriage. Why? It just seemed odd for this show set in this nice upper middle class neighborhood to have two pregnant girls in school. Not impossible in real life...but strange for a television show. But neither happens and Adrian is pregnant with a little girl. Big and pregnant.

Then last Monday's show comes on. From the start, I'm nervous. Secret Life drags out a story line like no other show. And everyone is crying. My first thought: She lost the baby. And at the end, my fears are confirmed. Adrian's baby is stillborn. Everyone is shocked. No 'fiction' show has ever taken that route. But the fact is: that was the most realest thing the show could have ever shown.

Often times we see these shows with "happy" endings. Even the "reality" teen pregnancy shows (MTV's 16 and Pregnant being the main one)  have yet to feature a situation like such as child loss. If there are issues with a teen's pregnancy, they aren't that real or that serious. Maybe the baby is born early or has some "minor" problems that can be easily fixed or solved in an hour episode. What about the girls/women who lose their babies due to miscarriage or a still birth? Let's check the facts:

  • The US ranks #28 in the world for infant mortality.  (*infant mortality being defined as a the death/loss of child 1 years of age or younger)
  • Rates: 6.1 deaths per 1000 live births (average)
  • In African Americans, it's 14.1 deaths per 1000 live births (health disparity issue)
  • Hispanic women's rates are 8.3 per 1000 live births 
  • There is no significant different in infant loss across younger mother age groups (under 18 and 18 to 25)
Adrian, the young lady who loses her baby, is Hispanic, middle class, and goes to the doctor from the start of her pregnancy. She has done everything "right" and yet she still suffers this lost at 17 years old. The last few minutes of the show are gut-wrenching as Sarah McLachlan's "Arms of an Angel" plays in the background. I cried. The last (and only) time I saw a show where someone lost a baby was "Run's House" and the after effects of that event were never shown. The next season, they adopt a new baby to replace the one they lost.

So what happens next on Secret Life? Who knows...but I am interested in seeing how they will handle the effects of this child loss tonight. These are children who had to become grown up sooner than any one hoped and now they are dealing with one of the most painful experiences in life. The lost of a child is a pain that no parent ever gets over. It is always there and there are always reminders of what could have been, and that yearning for that child you lost. And many women and men do not know how to handle that lost, especially at a young age.

I hope Secret Life shows the pain, and shows how once could begin to heal. Because there is never any real healing, but time will lessen the pain. I also hope they provide resources such as websites or phone numbers for other teenagers or young mothers to call if they are dealing with the same thing and never knew where to turn. I pray for everyone who has ever had to deal with this type of situation.

stats: Infant Mortality Rates

Dealing with Infant loss/Resources: March Of Dimes

    Monday, May 30, 2011

    True Life: Interracial Loving...

    First let me preface this by saying I have NEVER been a traditional "interracial" relationship and by that I mean, I have never dated anyone white. I have dated a Puerto Rican and a guy from the Phillipines. But that's the extent of me dating outside of my race. I stick to other "minorities". That being said, I have never experienced the stares or the hate that comes along with walking down the street with a white person beside me. I have heard stories from other women and men. My sister and her boyfriend (white!) even got into a fight with some strangers over their love. And of course I have rolled my eyes a time or two when I was younger when I have seen black and white couples. Not that I wanted that man, or that I cared but because it seemed to be the thing to do. In Richmond, mixed couples are just not that common at all.  However once I moved to Columbia MD I was in for a culture shock. Everyone dated outside of their race and if you didn't, something was wrong with you. I progressed and seemingly, I thought the world had too...but I was wrong.

    Let me tell you what happened to ME.

    So the other day I am out with the typical brunch crew and we had just finished eating a wonderful Italian meal and were walking around enjoying a beautiful Brooklyn day. My boy Jules (he's white and funny) and I were walking ahead of everyone else talking. As we cross the street I notice two African American/black women sitting ice grilling us HARD as fuck. I mean they made no attempts to cover up their disdain for us and it tripped me up for a second. I immediately got defensive and put my arm around Jules as if he were my man and cuddled up close to him. Rain laughed. I looked back and could see the women still starring hard and rolling their eyes like "Look at this bitch all up on this ofay." Wait...they probably didn't say ofay. Probably white man. Of course the arm around Jules is the one with Malcolm X all up on it. Jules, all caught up in the convo, didn't even notice these chicks. He thought they were "eye fucking" him, and we were like NO  they were starring hard like they wanted it with us. We were about to get jumped! (Not really...). How perfect for a lightskinned girl who is looking super Boho with a Malcolm X tattoo to be hanging on a white man dressed casual cool with a kangol on? I hope it killed them.

    I'm telling this story because this is the FIRST time I've personally experienced any hate for walking around with someone of another race. Jules, of course, is always the token white in our group and he's use to it so I guess nothing phases him. But I was pissed that anyone would even look like they were going to question WHY I was with him. While we are just friends, if I was fucking him, it's no one's business. I can never understand why people are so wrapped up in other people's relationships. I just...#pause. I'm not doing a rant today. NOPE.

    Suffice to say it was a learning experience. I thought Brooklyn as a whole was better than that...but that goes to show you that I can't assume because a place is so progressive that the people would be also.

    Follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/flyspacequeen

    Friday, May 27, 2011

    Update: Vision Board

    Okay last year in August, I posted a video about my Vision Board (see it here: Vision Board Post). People have been asking me updates and initially I was going to do a VLOG but I can't get it together so I'll just do a real quick break down of how things have been going! I hope this helps someone....

    • Inner Self: This is an ongoing process. I made a commitment to become more honest, put myself first but at the same time let more people into my life. I am still VERY weary of who I let into my inner circle. Unfortunately this has caused quite a few issues this past week or so, and I can't explain to anyone how I feel about things, so either you get it or you don't. But I have to look out for me, and I can't get any more honest than that.
    • Money: Again another on going process. I paid off a lot of debt in the past year. I also moved in the past year (from Baltimore to Brooklyn). Moving costs a lot of money! But this move was good because I got a better job and I make more money now, so I can save more. My credit report is still a work in process, but I have increased it by 100 points in the past year. How about that? Shout out to myfico.com and Credit Karma. I paid off half of my state debt. Shout out to MD.
    • School: Right now I am looking into schools for the fall of 2012. I have identified one that I really love. I took my GRE and I have identified topics that I want to use for my dissertation. Now the applying process begins. 
    • Outer-Self: If vitamin water counts as water, then I drink water all day everyday. I still take a multi-vitamin. I eat better, I don't exercise as much as I should (or at all....) but I have gotten into meditation and that's awesome.
    • Relationships: The build is so serious. I have been connecting with a lot of great people lately and I am hoping to form better alliances/connections/etc with others. 
    • Generalities: Again I moved so it's like...things changed. I did get a new place (of course). No car, I don't need one in NY. No passport still...Finish book? Almost done. ALMOST. But I did look into publishing it as an e-book. I have my reasons for this, and I think that if I can make that happen it will open the doors for other things. So hopefully by the end of the summer. And New Year's Eve in NYC happened.
    So overall,  I think the vision board was a great motivation tool even if I didn't fully complete everything. As the days, weeks, months go by, things change so I had to make adjustments to my life and to my vision for my future. I have currently making a new vision board, which will be a little more streamlined with the traditional view of a vision board and will  include my hopes/goals for the rest of 2011 into 2012.

    P.S. I love looking at other's visions boards...so let me know (here or on twitter) where I can view yours! We can work together.

    P.P.S. Do better...is the movement.

    Sunday, April 24, 2011

    True Life: Taking the Greyhound to see a man is stupid...

    So I am currently on the greyhound bus traveling from DC back to NYC and I decided to tell the story about my first trip to NYC ever in life.

    I guess it was my first year of college and I was dating this older loser by the name of Prince (this is his REAL nickname, fuck that nigga...). Prince managed to trick me up because I was 18 at the time and he was almost 30 but told me he was 21 when I met him. Dude didn't look anyone's 21 but I was stupid. Prince is the reason for my disdain toward most Geminis. Anyway, Prince was from Queens and was as trifling as they come. But I was impressed by his fast talking and the way he kissed. Silly young girl chasing after a grown ass man. Stupid.

    One Friday I was chilling with my homegirl Rasheida. Now I was in love with her. She was 20 and so cute and "in the know" about things. She was like the big sister I never had and I appreciated her trying to protect me from drama although her and I got caught up in the WORST situations ever in life. However, she saved my life one night so I am forever grateful for knowing her. Anyway, Prince calls from NY and says he's having a party and wants us to attend. This party is in NYC, and we are in Baltimore. Rasheida was from Queens and didn't mind taking that trip back home. I, on the other hand, had never been to NY and was worried about how this would work out. Prince was beyond unreliable and very selfish. He offered to pay for the bus but I wasn't with it. I resisted hard but less than an hour later, Ra and I found ourselves in the car with one of her friends going to NYC.

    We get there around 9-ish and call Prince to let him know. We planned on taking showers at her house and then going to the club. We ask him where was the party and he replied that he was "unsure" but he'd call us right back and send a car for us. FAIL #1.

    But we waited and waited. We walked to the corner store and got a couple of Mad Dog 20/20s and continued to wait, dressed in animal print pants and low cut black shirts. Around midnight we realized he wasn't calling us back and he wasnt going to answer our calls. We were pissed. He was even suppose to pay for our way back home on the bus. I didn't have ANY money to make this trip. I was pissed.  FAIL #2

    Fast forward to the next day, one of Ra's friends does us a solid and gives us the money for the bus. While at the station, Ra comes up with the brilliant idea to check Prince's cell phone and to change his voicemail to our voices. We tried various combinations until I realized it was his daughter's birthday. BINGO. We listen to his messages, which were full of various girls professing their love for him and asking him when would they see him again. I was pissed once again. FAIL #3. So in the middle of Port Authority, we changed his outgoing message to our voices, sounding as sexy as we could talking about how our "daddy Prince" was tied up and used every curse word we could. Terrible.

    We hopped on the bus and when I got home, my room phone was full of messages from Prince. He wanted us to change the voicemail back. We had changed the password too and his dumb ass was too dumb to call the phone company and get it fixed. We listened to his messages and his daughter's mom was crying all over the phone. That is the day I learned that I was NOT his girlfriend...just some hoe in MD.

    And to this day, everytime I see the Greyhound bus I get pissed.

    Monday, April 11, 2011

    Why I got the Malcolm X tattoo...

    A few days ago I posted a picture of my "new" Malcolm X tattoo on twitter. Despite the fact that I got this tattoo over a month ago, it got quite the response. (Perhaps it was the bra?!? Victoria Secret, demi cup, leopard and lace). I am now constantly being asked "What made you do that?" and I don't mind the question, but twitter is not enough room to explain so I'll just do a brief answer here. I can never fully explain to anyone my decisions because they are mine alone and no one will ever feel what I feel...but I will try my best. Bear with me.

    So in Jan I was thinking of getting a new tattoo. I want a sleeve, but I had no ideas. The one thing Slim (my tattoo artist) constantly says is you have to have your own  ideas about what you want. I didn't know what I wanted so I gave up on that idea. Then the Egyptian revolution popped off and I was engulfed in that whole movement. It was amazing to me to see people fight back for their freedom. I am of the idea that freedom in American is a farce. Regardless of race, Americans are not "free" and the American *negro* is even less free than their white counterparts. In respect to the whole world, our lives are wonderful however...it is all an illusion. But a great one at least.

    Anyway...no politics just facts. In support of my Egyptian family I tweeted love/support/quotes. Most of my quotes came from Brother Malcolm. I love this man. I then decided that one of his quotes on freedom would be an excellent choice. However, the quote was quite long. While looking at Malcolm X tattoos on google, I came across the infamous picture of Brother Malcolm at the window with the gun. I had an epiphany.

    I ran to Slim. Slim looked hesitant and then said fuck it. A week later, he blessed me. I loved it. I LOVE IT. And will be adding "By Any Means Necessary" later.

    It's as simple (or maybe as complex) as that.

    Thursday, April 7, 2011

    True Life: What does Taco Bell and sex have in common?

    True Life: New series dedicated to the many comedic experiences in my life. I have keep a journal of my wild and crazy life because I can't make this shit up. So I present to you the story of Taco Bell....

    When I was a sophomore in college, I was dating this guy named Marco*. Marco was fine as hell with long pretty curly hair that I use to braid once a week. Well one summer day he comes over to my house in Ellicott City MD to get his hair hooked up. Now at my old house I had the whole basement to myself. It had sliding glass doors so people would come and go as they choose in my room. It was a dream for a sneaky teenager. Anyway somehow I get the idea that taking naked pictures of Marco on my couch would be awesome. I take the pictures, get them developed and hide them in my bathroom drawer along with some other random pictures, condoms, etc. No one uses my room so I think I'm good.

    Wrong!!!

    My stepdad uses my bathroom one day and decides to look for some reading material. What does he find? The pictures. He tells my mom and I get in trouble for taking pictures of some "naked nigga sitting on our furniture". The situation, while hilarious now, was embarrassing then. I warn Marco about the situation and he claims he will never come chill with me and my parents again.

    Lies!!!

    Two weeks later he's at my house getting his hair braided. But now we are in the living room. My stepdad comes downstairs and states he's going to Taco Bell, would we like anything.

    Me: "ooh yeah! Get me 2 taco surpremes and a Pepsi"
    Stepdad: "Cool. What kind of tacos...oh let me guess. YOU LIKE EM HARD!!!!"

    And proceeds to bust out laughing. My mom spits her drink everywhere. Marco covers his face and my mouth drops. They laugh their happy asses out the door. I finish Marco's hair and he runs home stating he can never come by again.

    From that point on...he only visited me in my dorm room.

    Now anytime when someone wants hard tacos, I think of my stepdad (who was 34 at the time).

    This can't be life.

    *names changed to protect the innocent or something

    Tuesday, March 29, 2011

    5 Minute Blog: Don't Call It A Comeback...

    Call it a hot mess.
    This blog is about The Game. Yes, the tv show "The Game".
    Where to begin?

    Initially when The Game was canceled I was pissed. The CW/UPN/whatever low  budget station already screwed us (read: black people) over by canceling "Girlfriends" and there was no way in hell we were going to let them take one of the only other black shows on television. Now let me admit this...it was Girlfriend's time. It ran it's course, but I do believe they deserved a proper farewell which they didn't get. Joan deserved her wedding, Lynn deserved a record deal, Maya and Darnell deserved a baby, and Toni deserved to come back and show us how cute lil Morgan would have been. Alas, we didn't get that. Instead, the show got canceled. But I'm not bitter.

    After hardcore promotion on all social networks, BET picked up the show. We already knew this would be a fail. BET with an original show that's NOT a reality show or 106 and Park. Yeah..no, this wasn't going to work, but we wanted it to...badly. So in January, months after it had been picked up by BET, the show premiers and what do you know...it sucked.

    The show decides that since it's been two years since the show was on television, they will just start two years later. Then they decide that explanations aren't needed...we will just figure it out or we'll forget about what happened before. Where was Dionne? Where was Poochie? Who is this new Brit-Brat that is like 25 years old? Not only did they decide not to fill us in, they just started all new story lines.

    Kelly became a reality show star, Tasha is still an athlete manager (what happened to managing music?!?), and Melanie became a bitch. As for the guys...they are still who they are, except Jason is retired or something, Malik is not the star or something, and Derwin is the star or something...I don't know what the hell is going on.

    But I suffered through the whole season, cringing through 15 mins of the 17 min show (why are there so many commercials?). Then last week BET announces the season finale was the following week. What? There has been maybe 10 shows...but okay. However, tonight I watched and let me tell you: This was the best show of the season...but that's not saying much.

    Like honestly...I am confused. Yes, they left cliff hangers but really...what is going on in this show? Why are most of the characters unlikable and why does it look so cheap? I just can't...and my 5 mins are up. Jesus, take the wheel and drive this show into a wall.

    Monday, March 14, 2011

    5 min: You Know What Dre? I don't like your attitude...

    Man listen. People are killing me. KILLING ME!!!
    I hate dealing with others attitudes, that's why I stick to myself most of the time. I am careful in choosing who I associate with but unfortunately that's not always an option. Currently I am dealing with several people in my life who apparently think the world revolves around them and that they are above everyone and everything.

    NEWS FLASH: You aren't.

    I'm just going to list the things that get on my nerves and if it applies to you, so be it. Do better because that shit is horrible and I am not one to keep dealing with other people's personal problems:

    • Not speaking when I speak to you. You don't have to be rude bitch.
    • Replying to my emails asking me about some shit I said in the email. Read my emails bitch.
    • Asking me if I am mad or if I have a problem. If you have to ask, then usually I do. But you know what I'll say "No I'm good." If I say "good" then I'm not good. I'm pissed but I refuse to talk about it because it will cause more issues. You betta take the answer I give you and keep it moving tho. If I say "I'm fine" that means I really am fine. There is your Stevie lingo lesson for the day.
    • Using condescending tones in your voice. Several of the people around me are doing this and it's like: Who the fuck are you?!? My own MOMMA don't talk to me like that, so you betta fall back.
    • Telling me what I should do, what I need to do, what works best for "us"...listen, listen. I know what needs to be done. I'll ask you if I need help or if I am unsure. 
    • Acting like my momma: I got a momma already. And a dad. You are neither.
    • Embarrassing Me: The quickest way for me to stop fucking with you is for you to embarrass me. I hate it when people don't know how to act. I hate it MORE when people don't know how to act in front of others OR try to stunt on me in front of others. Listen if I am fucking up, you can tell me in private.There is NOTHING I hate more than for someone to call me out in front of others. Because they are trying to up show you. And to be honest, I am better at that game so unless you want me to get real Southside Richmond, don't do it. 
    I digress.
    A lot of things in my life are stressful now and having to deal with rude people on the regular is getting me down. And it's like a variety of people: women, men, young, old. I am like how did I end up with all this negativity around me? Jesus what did I do?!? I swear I will snap one of these days.

    You people need to learn some decorum. Unfortunately the people who NEED to read this won't. And the ones who do read this are already cool as the other side of the pillow. I just need to vent.

    Monday, February 14, 2011

    Today is Feb 14th...

    Valentine's Day.
    This is the first year I've been single for Valentine's Day since 2003. I'm somewhat of a serial dater. I can't be single for too long. However, these past months have been different. I've been searching for myself and trying to figure my life out. That doesn't mean I want to be single, it just means it's been necessary the past few months.

    But moving forward, I decided earlier today to write a blog about being single and Valentine's Day. I was going to take the stance of the newly single woman, going out treating herself, kicking it with her girls...you know. Doing that Destiny Child's "Independent Women" shit. Then I said "Who am I kidding?" LOL.

    I honestly wish I did have a Valentine. I want flowers, candy, and some type of fancy gift. I want to go out to dinner in a nice ass dress with some **** me heels on. I want to be courted. Why is that so difficult to find? Why can't I find an old fashion man who wants to pick me up at the door and take me out for a night on the town? I think I'm awesome enough. Whatever...

    So okay that's what I was going to write on. But then in the midst of me getting my thoughts together tragedy struck. And someone I know lost his 8 year old son. I will be honest, his death was not unexpected. He had been suffering from embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma for years. It was now in stage 4. He was only given a few days or a few weeks to live. Despite knowing this, the death of a child is always hard. Especially on the parents. (no need to name names...if you know them, pray for strength. if not, still pray.) There was an outpouring of love to him from a variety of people, friends and "foes". Love. It is beautiful.

    Suffice in that moment, Valentine's Day became unimportant. Ironically death reminds you to enjoy life. What seems like a big deal or so extra important is really quite minuscule once you look at the bigger picture. This is not about me but I cried, because I know the pain of losing a loved one to cancer, losing a child, and the struggle it is to stay strong when all you want to do is break down. The sad thing is that while we realize what's really important in moments like these, they tend to dissipate as time goes on. Then we end up at the exact same spot we are now until another one falls.

    While there is so much more I want to say, I fail to find the right words to describe how I feel inside. Sad to hear of the passing of a child. Happy because I know we can come together. I think Scarface summed up everything in his verse...

    Tuesday, February 1, 2011

    Hip Hop Benefits don't include Health Insurance...

    By now everyone has heard about DJ Kool Herc and how he needs money for an operation for kidney stones (I believe). Twitter and many hip hop blogs have been buzzing requesting donations via Paypal to help pay for the operation Herc needs to get better. (DJ Premier's Blog Requesting Help: Paypal for Kool Herc). Because of this request for assistance, people have been speculating and criticizing the hip hop community and DJ Herc himself (for "poor" money management). I will not give any shine to those who aren't knowledgeable, I'll just tell you how I feel.

    First off it's a disgrace to the hip hop community that Herc's sister even has to ASK anyone, let alone fans, for money to help pay for his bills. I blame the disintegration of the black community. Somewhere along the lines from slavery to present times, the black community has lost their way and there is no longer a strong sense of "community" and helping out one another. Today's attitude is more about "I got to get mine, you go and get yours." Gone are the days when we'd help one another willingly and happily. But this is not about that. Herc is one of the pioneers of the Hip Hop movement and culture. The moment "Hip Hop" found out he was sick was the moment they should have stepped up. I have seen a few tweets here and there from some artists but to be honest, most of the ones trying to get the word out are in a similar position. Just because you see these people on tv, hear them on the radio, or twitter (with thousands and thousands of followers) does NOT mean they are balling like that. The people who are in the best position to help (*looks at Jay Z, P Diddy, 50 Cent*) are too busy in their own lives to care. Some of these artists are on twitter all day talking about "bitches" but can't tweet one word of support or kind words but are quick to twitpic pictures of themselves throwing away money on strippers, clothes, or cars. #FAIL

    Secondly, this is not about poor money management. Let's keep it real, rappers, DJs, and the like were not making bank in the late 70s/early 80s. I can't deal with anyone who thinks Herc could have saved his money for a rainy day and should have had his own money to pay for this. I don't think many people realize how the industry was back then and how it is now. MC Hammer was one of the FIRST rappers to make any real money off this culture. Before them, people were making enough to be happy and get a nice little house, maybe a car and a big ass gold chain. And to be honest, rich people go broke all the time over medical bills even when they have insurance. Don't ever get cancer people.

    But I digress...let's get to the real issue. Health care and Health Insurance. This is NOT just about Kool Herc. The fact is, approximately 46 million Americans are without health insurance. Why? Because it costs too damn much money. Why are people acting shocked that Kool Herc doesn't have insurance? Where would he have gotten this insurance? Most people who have insurance got it through their job...and  you know what "Hip Hop Benefits do NOT include health insurance." There is also no pension, no IRAs, no stocks and bonds, no tuition remission for their children, nothing.  These entertainers are not getting any coverage from Aetna, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, or what have you. This is kind of ridiculous to me because it seems that the CEOs of these big music companies would provide something as simple as health insurance IN the contract to make sure their artists remain healthy so they can keep making money off of them. But I guess it's a better idea to pay them some random sum of money and let them get their own health insurance from whoever. So what's the other choice?

    Oh yes, private insurance....which loves to rape people over and over. I got to be honest, if it wasn't for my job providing with insurance, I wouldn't have any. I got a quote for myself one time, it was around $300 a month. That's $3600 a year. As my eyes slowly become weaker and weaker, I find that my premium will begin to go up and up. Who has that money? Most people think like me and we'd rather try our luck and hope we don't become ill. Fucked up mentality but it's real. And yes I realize that "Prevention is cheaper than Treatment"...but the hope is that you never have to get treated.

     So now the even BIGGER issue is not the industries disregard to health insurance and taking care of legends as they get older and older. It's about health care in America. Reform is needed. Say what you will about Obama Care, but it's better than the system we have now. For a country as advanced as America, we fall short of something as simple as health care. There is no reason why preventative care isn't available to everyone in the country at affordable costs. There is no reason why CHILDREN and SENIORS shouldn't be covered for the basics, such as health care, dental care, and vision care. There is no reason why a person who has is suffering in pain should be turned away from a hospital because they can not afford to pay. <<<Yes, private hospitals can still turn you away. And hospitals that will take you only have to do the minimal to keep you comfortable. 

    This is the real disgrace. A nation as strong and as powerful as America can not even provide the basics to it's citizens. The hip hop community can't provide what some rappers call "chump change" to a legend to get a basic kidney stone operation. So for now...let's hope the fans will continue to ride out for their heroes and keep donating via paypal until Kool Herc is better. I know I will.

    Wednesday, January 19, 2011

    Prince: Welcome to America

     Let me preface this blog by saying "I am IN LOVE with Prince." Period. Fact. End of Discussion. You can't ever tell me anything bad about him, I'll refuse to believe it. This man is a gift from God, respect him as such.
    Okay now that I went all the way in with my crazy, let me tell you about the show!
    First off, I went to two different shows. One on Dec. 29th and one last night, Jan 18 (my birthday #youcare). The Dec show had Mint Condition and Janelle Monae opening up for Prince.Last night's show was started with the lovely Sharon Jones and the Dapp Kings. Unfortunately for me, I missed them performing as I was waiting on the lovely but late Karen to make her arrival.

    Let's just talk about last night's show. I was blessed by Madison Square Gardens Concerts to get free tickets to last night's show. The absolute perfect birthday present!

    Prince showed OUT last night. When I tell you he went in, he went all the way in. I have seen him three times total and I will tell you that last night was the best performance I have ever seen him give, which is amazing  because all of his shows are great!  But last night he was radiating such a positive energy, he was funny, he was being especially musical (guitar solo after guitar solo), and just all around amazing. (Did I say amazing twice? yes, I did). Let me add: Maceo Parker was there performing as well. Do you KNOW who Maceo is? Please get familiar.

    He starts off with a medley of his songs, and in the middle he stops and says "I have way too many hits." Truth. Someone was kind enough to twit pic his set list, so I don't have to go through all of the songs. I will say I was hoping to hear "Gingerbread Man" (a new song) and Little Red Corvette (he didn't play either this time). What I wasn't expecting was "Adore." Prince did a rousing rendition of "Insatiable" then goes smoothly into "Scandalous" and starts off "Adore". He then states "Oh, someone gonna get pregnant tonight!" If I had a man, that someone might have been me. Prince was wrong. People say he did four encores. I don't know if that's necessarily true considering the "encore" songs are all listed on the set list. During one of his encores, Sharon Jones and the Dapp Kings joined Prince to perform "Love Bizarre". He did one TRUE encore of songs not listed. I can't tell you how excited I was to see AJ (106 and Park), Jimmy Fallon, Quest, and Mos Def up on stage when he did "Baby I'm a Star". Ya'll know how I feel about Dante.

    Let's get serious. Prince is the epitome of what an entertainer should be. He arrives on time, he gives his heart and soul, and he loves what he's doing. He sings, dances, and plays his own music? People like him are who the (music) "game" is missing. I hear people complain about his concert prices (ranging from $20 to $750). People who complain have never seen him live or they would know he's worth every penny he's charging plus more.  Prince is a true professional. Some of you youngsters take note (I'm talking to you Lauryn Hill).

    Like I said on twitter last night while I was on a love high watching him sing "Purple Rain" so effortlessly:


    P.S. I will be at the Feb 7 show once again. Falling in love with this man all over.

    P.P.S. I almost forgot about Prince being a Jehovah Witness until he said he needs a woman to cook, but not soul food...and not shellfish. He said he doesn't eat shellfish because the Bible told him so.


    Thursday, January 6, 2011

    Look At This Bitch Over Here Trying To Act Like Me...

    Lawd Lawd Lawd. (5 minute blog...starting now!)

    Okay so earlier today I read a piece written by "Da Writer" about Women and Respect, simply called "Women Don't Get Respect because They Don't Respect Each Other" (please click on link and read for yourself). The title basically sums up the article. You don't have to guess what he's going to say...it's quite clear. No Snark.

    His first premise is "how can you complain about the way men treat you when you treat each other ten times worse?" followed by "no offense." Should we/I take offense? I don't know. I am slightly offended because what does one thing have to do with another. A lot apparently. Let's discuss this real quick.

    First off, he's absolutely right...women are disgustingly mean to other women. Why? I say 90% of the time, it's over a man. It's probably higher but I don't believe any exact studies have been done in regards to this phenomenon. Women HATE each other. (FYI...we are speaking generalities, not totalities). There is nothing I hate more than a woman who says "I can't be friends with another woman..." or "Women are too much trouble..." I can't stand it. I am actually the opposite. I wish I had MORE female friends to build and bond with. Don't get me wrong, my best friends are my girls for life. They are my family. But sometimes I want to do stuff and I don't know another woman I can call to kick it with me. It's hard for a grown woman to make friends...and why?

    Because of this "I can't be friends with other women" mentality.

    I don't know where this comes from. And you know what's sad, I only hear this in the black community. Now don't get me wrong, I am sure other races have their issues too but really it's always my beautiful black women talking about how they hate other women.  Perhaps its because of the lack of quality black men in our community? There is some type of competition for the men left, and if you and I are friends...then you might get the man meant for me?

    I don't understand. And to go back to his original topic, I can see why men will say and do anything they want to women. We do it to each other. We say "This bitch..." "That hoe..." etc...so why should my jaw drop when I am called "A bitch" (by the way it does...call me a bitch and I'll probably call your mom a bitch just to make you mad). Respect has to be earned.

    The phrase "you can't expect others to respect you unless you respect yourself" is most fitting in this situation. Black women (or any women for that matter) can not expect men to respect of us if we can't respect each other.