I must be the most horrible friend of a lifetime...that's the only reason I can think of why my so called "friends" do me the way they do. I try to be the best friend I can but people aren't perfect and despite my faults, I am an incredibly loyal friend and will fight to the death for my friends...well argue to death. Whatever.
Okay so check it, I won't go into specific details but I had a lot of business to take care of this past week. Now my time is very limited, but if I can make time, I assume others will. That's not the case. I need to stop assuming. But that's not even my issue...as I am out and about I get my first flat tire ever! OMG. It's hot, I am frustrated, I KNOW how to change a tire but I have never driven a PT Cruiser before and I am so confused as to where the spare actually is and how to get it unlatched. I end up calling roadside and I am pissed. I call two of my besties, Joana and Karen, and they talk to me for a while as I bitch and complain about the tire, the "situation" that caused me to get the flat tire, the other bestie who wasn't answering their phone ("I ain't mad atcha" (c) Tupac), and the fact that I was so fed up all I wanted to do was go to bed.
Out of my anger, I call one bestie and say "You know what, you could at least send me a text message if you can't hang out with me" which I meant but said in the absolute worse way. So now I am thinking I might have to apologize. I call my (male) bestie and he doesn't answer, so I leave a message and I am whining (which I just realize I do a lot so I am pissed at myself). He calls back. He says "What were you saying? what's up with this flat tire?" (now this fool is in MD so I am thinking that he's going to be more understanding/helpful). I say "OMG yes I got a flat and let me tell you..."
"Don't you have another friend you can call about this? Why do you have to call me and tell me about your troubles..."
*pause* I swear to God, tears fell from my eyes at that very moment. I called him because I consider him a best friend. That's the key. I consider him MY best friend...this relationship is apparently not reciprocal. I was absolutely at a lost for words...I mean who does that? I actually start stuttering like "Yeah well...my bad..."
"Yeah it's your bad. I am on the computer with (chick) from Canada so I got to go," and he hangs up. Then it hit me. He was showing out for some chick. Some CANADIAN chick at that via Skype. I was then heated. Yo if you didn't want to hear my bullshit, then why the fuck would you call back? This had me pissed at everyone.
Everyone. But it's understood now. Dude said what he said, and now I realize that just because we've been friends since 2000 doesn't mean shit to anyone but me. And just because I go out of my way for him doesn't mean he can even bother to listen to me for like 10 minutes. And then my other friend wonders why I don't bother with details. They are worthless. When I try to talk about shit and how I feel, this is what happens. So I have come to the conclusion that I must be a fucked up friend if I can't even get the people who claim to care about me to talk for like 5 minutes.
I got you.