Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Are You NOT entertained?

Blogging is hard work.

When I initially started blogging (on myspace) it was all about my life: the ups, downs, good and bad. I talked about any and everything. If you needed a fuck, I didn't give it. I was like oh fuck everything and fuck everybody. It was a hot mess. Somewhere between 25 and 30 I began to care. Mostly about others...not so much about me talking about my life...but my life involves others. Others who rather not be mentioned or others I can't mention because of issues and situations. So there are no more "The Art of Spelling" blogs and as a result, there is no more 100s of kudos or comments.

Then again...I blogged constantly on myspace and maybe it was more user friendly there. I got away from myspace for Lent and tried to make this transition from that blog to this but it's not as successful. There I'd blog about every day life...here I am not as successful. And maybe because my life is changing. I have to give props to General Steele for offering to do his section "Generally Speaking"...but I feel like I do not do enough. I don't even try to really push this blog...there are no clever musings like I did on myspace.

So life is complicated right now...and has been for a while. And I can't talk about everything here...and that bothers me. I don't know who is reading what and who will think what and what's going to fall in the wrong hands. That is part of the reason why I took my twitter feed off the site...to avoid situations and issues. However, in the meantime/in between time...I have been working on my vision board. What's that?!?!

A vision board is a board with all of my goals planned out on it. Unlike my prayer list, this includes actual steps that I need to accomplish. I did a rough sketch of it the other week (see it here: Vision Board) and started the big board which will be placed on my living room wall.

In addition to getting my life together, I've been working on the following:

1. Finding a new apartment to live in
2. Work, work, and more work (thanks to everyone's prayers about me getting that promotion. I won't know until next week)
3. Getting out of debt (which includes even MORE work)
4. Getting healthier (which means drinking water, eating, and trying to be stress-free but I fail)
5. Traveling more
6. Being a better friend

However I'll admit I am in turmoil now. I want to write more but I'm fucking it up...I'm slipping, I'm falling, I can't get up.


  1. Oh Steff. We all fall down but know that you have friends and family who will help you get back up.
    BTW, you're right. I haven't transitioned well for the same reasons. We all have things we can't share for whatever reason...
    In due time, you will work through it because you can and you want to do better.
    Much love to you.

  2. I don't know if this will help or not, but i blog about every damn thing im going thru regardless of how personal it is, and it helps me--even when i'm slippin or falling short of what I said I'd do. Much luck to you, and sorry for the run-on sentence.

  3. That song is a Capricorn's prayer of sorts for me. @ DMX joint. I say that to say simply that now that you HAVE SET A PATH, the end of the song will come to fruition. Maybe not how you plan it and in some cases even BETTER than you plan it. You know we got you. High/low blog posts, Twitter feeds removed and all. We are right here. At least I am....

  4. Your struggles are similar - I can't always say what I want to say, or talk about things because people are really, really sensitive. Numbers 2, 3, 4, and 6 sound like goals I'm trying to accomplish (except the promotion thing - I just got one and I'm trying to adjust).

    Stay focused, and realize that making these changes may mean some folks you care about get left behind cause they can't accept your changes. Good luck.

  5. I'll share with you my favourite quote: "it's better to know where to go and not know how, than to know how to go, and not know where". You know where you need to go, the how will figure itself out, just keep moving, even if at a crawl. :)

  6. Everybody at some time or the other in life - feels the same way, and go through the same thing - it's life - just the way it is....BUT you are a true champion - get some rest - eat some good food, spend some time alone, just relax and contemplate quietly - just relax - do you.

  7. Ya'll are so dope. I truly appreciate the comments. It's nice to have positive support and to feel that energy. I am so frustrated so it's humbling to wake up to such feedback. Thanks.

  8. Steph, I remember reading your blogs on myspace. I seen how much energy you got from writing. I remember you even saying something about doing it as a career. What I have come to learn is that it is exhausting as hell trying to please the damn world. It is also tough when you put your heart into something and you get nothing back. My prayers are with you and hopefully soon we can finally catch up. What I have found strength in is doing it for the LOVE. When we do it for recognition we loose focus. Remember everything you need is already inside you! The heavens will open up at your arrival. Continue to let the spirit guide you, everything will fall into place.XO

  9. You gonna be aight, fam. You skrong.

  10. I never got a chance to read your blogs on myspace (mostly because I never liked myspace), but I enjoy reading your blogs now. As long as you keep it real, this will always be good entertainment.