Friday, March 19, 2010

Generally Speaking#2: Are We Going Crazy?

Time:11:30 a.m.
Mood: a lil crazy


Is it just me
or are we all going CRAZY !?

A friend of mine who is in the military said he had just gone for psychological evaluation. When he told me I was a little shocked but I chose not to ask any questions. I figure if he has something to open up about , then probably best to just let him talk. But I was bugging a little bit. 

He said there wasn't anything wrong with him and he just wanted to get some answers. Maybe hear something else from some outside entity with no personal involvement whatsoever.
Either way it struck me as little odd. i couldn't help but to think the military may have gotten to him a bit. That's my boy. Besides that he just started . All i could find the courage to ask was ,"how old are you?..."

"25" he responded. "I just turned 25"

"you're mad young " I said

"Yeah", he said "but I just need to hear something else like..."

I understood but I couldn't really understand.
I mean you are young, ya life just started you don't have many problems but for some reasons you feel you need psychological evaluation.
I can respect that.

Its better than you coming home from the military, (and need I mention that my friend didn't go to war per say, but he did serve as a guard for various ops that he could not mention)
but its better than coming home and killing random people like Colin Ferguson or the recent Major incident at Fort Hood where Major Nidal M Hasan, who was also a Doctor snapped and killed 12 people and wounded 31 others.
Not saying my boy would wild like that
but sometimes I got to ask "Are we going crazy?"
I mean are we all just going crazy and we don't know it?
I mean I want some answers too (but to what?) 

where do i start?

I can't lie sometimes I be feeling crazy
I be going thru some wild ish that have me thinking "this gotta be unreal" or too real for that fact.
Thank God I manage to pull it together, at least enough to keep it moving
But when I look at my boy or when I listen to my friend I cant help but to think: "what if we cant pull it together and we just snap"

Will we be able to prevent it?
Will we be able to pinpoint it?
Will we be able to express it in a positive way?

When I look around today I cant help but to take notice to the fact there are more and more atrocious crimes being committed  as well as more desperation, depression, scandals to say the least .
I don't know if I am reading the news or a tabloid sometimes
I watch the news and they are reporting on peoples twitter
I guess that's news also.

When I think about the day to day worries every average individual may have to incur I become overwhelmed,
Then when I think about the countless amount of folks who continue to go on each day or the people who survived beneath collapsed ruble due to the earthquakes in Haiti for days and weeks even after the search was called off.
We are survivors of some of the most cataclysmic occurrences in history to date.
Yet are we are victims and very well may be perpetrators of even more indescribable events that have shaped our very way of living.

Its hard not to feel a little crazy sometimes or to feel like your going to snap any minute.

I mean whom of us is really exempt. Which of us really have our chi down packed in which to avoid the climatic breaking point.
Whether its an annoying boss or crappy job, a nagging wife or husband, kids, baby mamma/daddy drama, finances, bills, sheer bad luck or whatever or maybe just the day to day hustle and bustle of trying to be progressive and productive and forward your career or advance your life,or maybe your just fed up. That's when the pressure builds.
Really at any given moment for any potential reason in any accommodating climate or scenario any one of us could snap.

With the right amount of pressure. It's kind of like Melly Mell said "Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge...I'm trying not to lose my head..."

Its been said that many of our great scholars, artist and even musicians may have been a little nuts or ultimately driven mad.
And if we look today we can see living testaments to that in some of our artist and musicians  today to say the least.
I look out my window, I watch the television ,listen to the radio, read the paper and I find more than enough evidence to support the theory that we're going mad.
"Man kills wife, wife kills husband, child slain, man jumps, women hit by train, law maker breaks the law, war, poverty, disease, hormones in the food, in the water, earthquakes ,brother killing brother... WAIT!"
that sounds like REVELATION...

The thought alone is enough to drive Bill Cosby to say "What the F**K!"
Or Zen master Russell Simmons to yell "These M**** is F*** CRAZY as a M****!  
If he hasn't already.

I mean its all enough to drive any "sane" person over the edge. But for us who think we are the "sane" ones I ask "Are we really crazy and just don't know it?, how do we know, do we know our breaking point, will we be able to prevent it, curtail or direct it in a positive fashion?
Will the twig bend or snap?
Will we resort to medication which is the obvious choice
or will we embrace meditation."
Either way this beloved system has places for the clinically and the criminally insane.
Not to mention enough drugs to medicate a country.

A friend of mine told me about his buddy who has a 15 year old. The 15 year old had a problem with how the teacher was teaching so some minor disorder occurred which led to the boy being sent to the school psychiatrist. The boy was asked a series a questions, with out parental consent or supervision might I add. Obviously the boy was angry but when he was asked did he think about death he replied "yes". From where? 
The video games that he plays day in day out. (see: Halo, Call of Duty...u get the picture)
The next question was tricky do you feel suicidal he was asked. "I think so " he responded.
This answer led him right to the psychiatric hospital.
With real crazy people......for real.
The boy was shocked to say the least.
He had no idea his words would wind him up in here.This was the real deal.
His father found out later and you can imagine his anger. This incident allowed the law to come in and inspect this mans home and ask him questions about his lifestyle and income citing his Range Rover in the driveway  one cop stated "What do you do,you got a Range Rover?"
The nerve.
That sh*t make me crazy
But I can't blame either side.If you are the law, then you have to check it out even though we cant catch em all.
Like the father who shot his 16 year old son to death only after making him strip and walk to his death after finding out that the boy had admitted to molesting his 3 year old sister.

THAT'S CRAZY! WHAT MADNESS.....360 degrees of Insanity

But oddly founded that it may be this same madness that drives us to succeed and pushes us to new limits and bounds that show the continuous evolution of man/woman in society as a whole.
As some say "you got to be a little crazy to deal with this or put up with that".

A famous singer said " let's go crazy, lets get nuts " ...Prince

He was talking about good and evil (in my opinion) amongst other things I'm sure...BUT...
He was talking about if the elevator (of life) ever try to bring you down then "Lets Go Crazy".


General Steele 

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Census 2010: We can't move forward indeed...

I debated making this blog for a few days now. I know this might seem petty or childish to some people...and I admit I laughed but seriously I do feel a certain fuck it. This is MY blog so let me express MY feelings.

I hate the new Census. I hate the attempt at a mainstream pop-ish song featuring people of various races (what races depends on what channel) singing "We can't move forward until you mail it back!!" and people are dancing around like that's the banging shit in the club. I hate the fact that they want to know everyone's business. Why do you need names and birthdays. And why is now required by law that you answer the damn Census. But beware...if you don't...they will call you because despite them asking for your number, they already have it. And if you don't answer, that's cool too. They will send their field workers to your house to ask you that survey. So I guess it's best that you do it yourself. I am surprised that they didn't ask for SS#s on that bitch too. Maybe in 2020...or we might be lucky by then and already have chips implanted in us so there will be no need for a Census. I slightly understand why immigrants would NOT fill out this form. I'd be scared I was going to be picked up too.

*time out...did I just say that out loud? Yeah I did. Do I believe that would happen? Maybe...shit who knows*

I sort of feel like the Infamous Lady T "I think they are making the census so important & "mandatory" this yr bec they NEED 2 kno how many ppl there are 2 smack dwn #martiallaw" 

And I open it up and what do I see under race: "Black, African Am., or Negro". WORD. I thought we were moving forward. Okay...I don't consider myself negro but I guess it's all the same to the people at the census. Someone must have complained because they issued this statement:

In this day and age, why is the word "Negro" included as part of the race question on the 2010 Census form?

The wording of the race category labeled "Black, African Am., or Negro" is based on Office of Management and Budget standards and Census Bureau research that showed a segment of the population still identifies itself as "Negro." The Census Bureau has a research team dedicated to investigating issues and analyzing data on the nation's diverse racial and ethnic groups. The Census Bureau is testing the removal of the term "Negro" from the question on race, and results of this research will inform design changes for future surveys and the 2020 Census. We are sorry if some are offended by the use of this word in the 2010 Census and hope that it will not stop them from returning their forms and being fully counted by the census.

*rolls eyes again*
That's cool. But I am pretty sure we could apply this logic to the term "colored". I am sure there are many people who call themselves "colored". What the fuck ever. And several white people have said not to be upset or use "common sense" when dealing with the Census. My "common" sense says fuck this form and fuck the government's nosy ass trying to figure out who I got in my house.

But my intellect says to look at that shitty schools in my hood, the lack of parks and libraries, and the destruction of the black community and how can I NOT turn it back in if that means getting a few more dollars than before. And real talk white disrespect but I don't think any of you are in any position to tell a black person how to feel about still being labeled in a disparaging way. One of my girls (who is Hispanic) is upset because she can't correctly classify her race. And at first I was like "girl please" but I can't relate to her specific I have to respect anyway....I did fill it out. But I left off names and other identifying information. Let them call me on that...even tho I did leave my number off too.

We were niggas before...I guess I can be a negro for the greater good of the community.

Edit: I wrote this blog in less than 10 minutes so please forgive any mistakes or if it's all over the place. but this is how I feel.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Happy Black Girl Day!!!

I'm a happy black (and natural) girl. Or moreso a woman but that's just semantics.

I log onto twitter every morning and to my surprise I am seeing a lot of #happyblackgirlday and #HBGD and I am like "How did I miss THIS holiday?" I am all about giving praise to my beautiful sisters and supporting them in what ever they do. Then I found the originator of this day, a beautiful blogger who stole my heart a few months ago (but she doesn't know it) and I love her blog (which is called The Beautiful Struggler ...a girl after my own heart). So I peeped her blog on Happy Black Girl Day and smiled. I think it's about time we something for ourselves. I think a lot of time black women carry the worries of the world on their shoulders. We are daughters, sisters, mothers, caretakers, teachers, nurses...everything. Someone asked me on formspring why black women were so hard on black men and I wanted to get pissed. But then I realized today was not the day and that was not the place. Black women want our men and our families to succeed...and if we have to push you to greatness and be mean in the process, so be it. I think a good friend of mine said recently  "Greatness waits for no one" (I am sure that's a well known quote but for all intents and purposes). I want my people to be great. spirit of today I think that all my happy black girls out there should celebrate being black and strong and proud. Hold our heads high and strut like the QUEENS we are. I urge everyone to treat themselves today. Buy yourself something nice, or fix your favorite meal. Perhaps you can go home, run a bubble bath, put on your favorite cd (Amerie's "All I have" is sounding good to me...) and relax. Cherish this day as yours. I think we all deserve it.

Why am I a happy black girl? 
  • I have a great family
  • I have great friends
  • I am alive 
  • I have a good job
  • God found favor in me to allow me to see another day alive
I love my beautiful black sisters. I hope you love yourself too!

New blogs coming soon on various patient. But we are very busy people but we got you.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Generally Speaking: Why should I go on living?

Date: 2-23-10
Time: 7am
Mood: Blessed
Why should I go on living? 

Before I can answer that, or even begin to ask that
I must recall what the bible says in Genesis 2:7 : "Then the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breathe of life, and man became a living soul".  

Imagine that.

Also I have to consider Genesis 1:27 "And God created man in His own image, in the image of God created he Him. " Wow!

I(we) was created by God in the same image as God?!
That's an immaculate conception
So The Almighty Creator of All Living Things created me(we) man in His image on the 6th day right after he made the Heavens and The Earth,
He said "Let there be light", saw that it was all good,
split the waters from the firmament, made all the animals
and then made me (we)

Man to inherit this and be sort of like the caretaker of the world he has created for me (we) ?!
what an amazing gift
what can top that
a diamond?How bout a lot of diamonds
but where can i find diamonds..............wait a minute diamonds are found in the Earth that God created for me (we) and entrusted me (we) to take care of.
That's pretty awesome

So its like anything that I (we) could possibly need or want exist in this Earth that God has created for me(we)
and told us to be fruitful and multiply and to live in abundance.
So you mean to tell me out the millions of little sperm cells that fought to exist I am the only one who made it?
was is it destiny?

That's a big responsibility
I don't know if I can handle ALL that...why me?!
I mean I ain't no religious buff or anything like that
does God choose some and not others?

why? and how do we know?

I know many have questioned Gods very existence
I may have been guilty of this at times in the past while whirl winding thru one of my many extremely  emotional bouts with what I call the struggles of life.

You know the things we tend to see more and more of, the positive and the negatives of life.
From poverty, homelessness, depression, hopelessness, hatred, killings, crimes, discrimination, war, suffering, etc.,on
to the hopeful, hardworking, loving, caring people who dedicate their every fiber to educate and help the people
and to just create a place for us all
as I believe God intended to do.

Why should I go on living?!

Who am I to question that? 
which was given as a gift by the Almighty Creator
consider those who didn't make it
or those who suffered great for the sake of me (we) to be here
And lets not forget the mothers who bear us for 9 months in their womb allowing nourishment, safety, and love while enduring immense physical pain as well as other changes.
Such strength should never go unappreciated

It would be selfish of me to look down upon this gift of life which was given to me (we)  by God! Wow!
I must be special to have made it this far
I hope my Father/Mother can be proud of me(we)
I will do my best
to go on living
if not for myself , then for my Father/Mother
and if not for my Father then for my sons
for they to will bear the toils which there father endured
I pray they are strong enough and like any father I pray that they love me and I love them
and that we should continue to keep on living as we are all Gods' children.
Go on and Live...and Give Thanx and Praise to The Father

General Steele 

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Blogger's Note: From now until an undetermined amount of time, General Steele (of Smif N Wessun fame) will be contributing to my blog. If the response is good, we will continue to expand and build on this partnership. I'd like to thank the General for donating his time and words. He recently dropped an album (cop that on Duckdown, Itunes or Amazon) and I know his time is precious. Salute!