Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Let's Talk About It...

or let's not. Which ever is fine.

Recently I have realized how horrible I am at communicating. I am not an eloquent speaker and the when I go to present, talk, share, or discuss...I have trouble putting the words together in a logical and reasonable way. In my head they sound excellent, but the moment I open my mouth I sound like a teenager who barely passed English. Even in topics that I am well versed in, I fail to get my point across and find myself extremely frustrated or repetitive. I use simple words, and I am straight forward. Normally this is not an issue. I am able to easily relate to the communities I work in because I keep it simple. 

Lately I have been getting into trouble with my words. At work, my boss loves me but her boss wishes I was more professional in my speech. That's fine and understandable. I recognize my faults. At home, my simple compliments to my friends are taken as me being flirtatious or  over board. I rejoice in my friends joys and I smile at them and send them well wishes. Yes I may say "You look great today!" but that's not an attempt to holla and have some type of hot wild sex on your living room floor. I recently apologized to one of my friends and his girlfriend (well...I told him but not her). Apparently I was overboard, not that he said something but someone else did. So I says "If I came across as trying to holla, it's not that." because I just truly respect this person and I am impressed by his (and her) genius. But I mean no harm...but apparently I am a flirt.

It somewhat bothers me to be misunderstood. I thought staying simple would get my point across better. It does not. It's actually quite the opposite. I find myself arguing with some random person once a week because of a "misunderstand" and what's more crucial is when this happens via the internet for several reasons.

1. It's never that serious.
2. Because in real life, you wouldn't pop shit.
3. It's never that serious

I use to cherish my written words thinking that my stories and poems had the power to paint beautiful pictures in a person's mind as they read them. I now think the opposite. I find it harder and harder to blog because I feel inadequate when I compare my words to others. But it's not a competition. But it is about me feeling like I am too young and that people don't take me serious.

I care just about as much as the next person. I may not be able to find the right words to express the sentiment I want to display but I have as much passion as the next person and will work as hard. And it's hard to keep your friends and your loved ones happy when they think you don't care because the moment you get frustrated with your words you hang up the phone or your curse (because that's always easier) or you shut down. These people don't understand...why should I bother right.

Ahh...but what's due? BETTER. (yeah Due: Better or Do Better) and I said at the beginning of the year that I all I wanted to really do this year was become a better person in all aspects of my life. So okay...I will work on my communication skills. Not only for myself, but for my job, for my friends, and my family.

I don't want to just prove others wrong about me...I want to prove to myself that I am not some hood ghetto girl with a degree who can't talk. (yes this is what a friend said about me...)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Essence Will You Marry Me Contest (part 2...)

Disclaimer: "I have been hired by Warner Bros WB Word division to raise awareness for Essence's Will You Marry Me? contest."

 I have to include that disclaimer when I blog but don't get it twisted...I am so into this contests right now mainly because ya'll know I want to get married...and in Maui! WHAT!! Please let my boyfriend one day be this sweet and enter this contest so we can win a trip somewhere! 

Right now I am feeling Irwin and Dewain!! 

There story: Irvin Williams, 38, lives in Boise, ID, while his fiancee Dewain, 40, lives in New Orleans. Both are native to New Orleans. She is Dean of Student Affairs at Dillard and when they met, he was Director of Food/Beverage of a banquet hall. She was a client, using his space for an event. He donated champagne in exchange for a date. The relationship is now long distance; he was laid off and moved to Idaho for another position as Director of Concessions. The couple has been together for two years. Before proposing, like a gentleman, he consulted her friends.

And Derwin's proposal? I loved emotional, so full of love. In his proposal he mentions how she stuck by him he lost his job. I was so impressed. And asking her friends first? LOVE IT.

Anywho...go to the site and read more about them here:

There are three other couples too that you can read on and vote for if you like them better. But I think after reading the stories, you will agree with me on Irvin and Dewain.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Supporting Local Black Business: Oyin Handmade

After what seems like 100 years I finally decided to try out Oyin Handmade Products. I had heard a lot of great things about their products and since I am finally 100% natural I decided to go for it. Now don't get it twisted, the products are not exclusively for natural's just that I was going through an internal battle with myself and once I cut off all the straight hair, I could start new.

What I knew about Oyin was it was black owned and based in Baltimore. That's all I needed to know...I was off to the site. Now I must admit, as soon as I went to the site I was overwhelmed. Oyin is not just a "hair" store; they have items for your skin, your lips, and your babies. I decided to play it safe and get the 4 piece hair sample pack that included Greg Juice, Shine and Define, Honey Hemp, and Whipped Pudding. I have to say, shipping is not quick and I think that is because they are a small operation and they literally hand make every thing. I wasn't too concerned about that tho...everyone talks about the shipping when they review the products. It took about two weeks to get my order, I ain't mad at that.

Let me tell you something...this stuff smells GOOD (sorry for the bootleg picture but whatever...) I mean decadent. I was in love from jump. So let me go item by item.

1. Greg Juice: I like this. It's a spray for moisture. I used it on my afro and it stayed moisturized and soft. However with braids it wasn't as great. I really liked this product and it smells good.

2. Honey Hemp: Excellence. I used this as a leave in. When I was rocking corn rows, I took the mixtresses advice and put it on before I got in the shower so that it could pull from the hot shower and moisturize my hair. This is orangey smelling and nice. I didn't get a chance to use it as a deep conditioner and I feel bad about that. But I will purchase a big bottle of this and try it again.

3. Shine and Define: If you need to smooth down those unruly edges...this is for you. I have type 4 hair and with this, my hair was slick as a new born baby's! I found that it was also good for twist and braid outs. I would mix a little with the whipped pudding and used when I styled my hair. I find that the hold with this product is strong without being hard like gel. This whole bottle (they sent like a 2 oz one) is gone. I was using this like it went out of style.

4. Whipped Pudding: I want to eat this. It smells that good. I was in the bathroom like a feen smelling the bottle everyday. I used this for moisture also. When I was rocking the afro, I'd use it to twist and add a body to my hair. My hair loved this stuff! When I put this in my hair, my hair was like "what do you want me to do mami?!?" and would do what I loved. Let me give you an example of a three day old braid out using the shine and define mixed with Whipped Pudding:

 That's with me air drying too. I don't put heat in my hair if I can help it.

Oyin does have a flagship store here in Baltimore located on North Charles Street, but their hours do not work for me (they are only open on Saturdays). However, I am pressed to go to the store so I might make that trip next week.

Overall: 5 out of 5 for the sample pack! LOL. I will give the other items a try and rate those later.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Martin Luther King Jr and Me...

When I was growing up MLK Jr day meant "NO SCHOOL!!!" and I had bragging rights that my birthday was (sometimes) on the same day as MLK Jr day (such as this year...LOL). Every Friday preceding King's holiday, we'd watch the MLK Jr movie in English or history class.  In my mind, the fact that my birthday was so closely related to his meant I was destined for greatness too, tho when I was younger this greatness was short lived as I barely could stand watching the many tributes to him on tv and preferred to watch "Ricki Lake" on my day off. 

As I got older, I began to learn more about the man and myself. I could not aspire to do great if I didn't know the greats. The first time I was mad about my "black-ness" was when I first moved to Maryland and discovered that "African American History" was not requirement, let alone offered in my new high school. I had such an attitude about it and realized then that if I wanted to learn OUR/MY history, I had to go out and learn on my own. I opted to go to an HBCU my senior year in college, despite being offered a partial scholarship to a seemingly "better" school. I have never regretted my decision to go to Morgan State, despite what others may say. There black history was "required" for graduation and it wasn't a floater professor wrote our text book and knowing about Black History Month would not get you a pass.

This is when I finally truly LEARNED about Martin Luther King Jr. I finally listened and comprehended what this man was saying in his "I had a dream" speech and read about his life and his fight for equality. One quote that always stood out to me was: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." These words were powerful on many levels.

I will not bore people with long drawn out blogs on MLK Jr's greatness...I urge people to go out and learn more about this man on their own. It's not enough that I tell you about his marches, the non-violent resistance, or his messages...or anything. I am sure you have heard it all before. However I employ you to figure out the real reason why you celebrate today. Think about how this man died for our rights while you post "Happy Birthday MLK" on twitter and facebook.

In order to become great, one must do great things. Martin Luther King Jr did great things. And we will do great things to once we realize that we are the ones we've been waiting for.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Essence Will You Marry Me Contest

 Essence Magazine is offering men across the country the chance of a lifetime -- to surprise their girlfriends with a dreamy proposal in the pages of the magazine for its fourth annual Will You Marry Me? feature. Four special men have been selected to share their love story with more than 8 million readers, who will vote on their favorite couple and determine the winner of a dream wedding courtesy of Essence.

To learn about the contestants, view the proposal videos and picture galleries, and vote for your favorite couple visit the "Will You Marry Me?" homepage on

Each person that votes for their favorite couple can enter to win a trip a 4-night trip to Maui, Hawaii!

Legal Disclaimer: "I have been hired by Warner Bros WB Word division to raise awareness for Essence's Will You Marry Me? contest."

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Doing Better....

So I decided to challenge myself to read 100 books in 2010. 
Simple right?!?

Well I will blog that seperately from if you are interested:

And you can suggest books, read reviews, argue with me, agree with me, send me books, build and shit. All kinds of flyness.

It will be fun.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I am 29 going on 30...

in exactly a week, on MLK day.
I am somewhat excited and somewhat not. Birthdays to me have never been great and I was hoping to make the big 3-0 a fantastic one but I am seeing right now that plans will not go through the way I hope. In December, I planned my whole birthday weekend down to the last minute because I just KNEW I was going in and now I am like oh well.
My birthday has never been awesome...I was just wishing/hoping/praying that I could make this milestone a great one. Maybe it's not meant to be? When I reflect back on my birthdays I feel so so about it. The one consistent thing is my mom and my sister taking me out to dinner or lunch. Other than that, it's a regular day. Let's reflect on my birthdays shall we?!?!?! (just the milestones...)

12 years old: Who knows what happened?
16 years old: Again, who knows what happened? Tho I vaguely remember being sick and laid up in my grandma's house
18 years old: Senior in high school. Pretty sure I was at a club in Baltimore (Lava Lounge?!) getting my party on and making dudes pay me $2 for my phone number.
21 years old: Junior in college. I was staying in the infamous Argonne (aka Thurgood Marshall). It was someone elses birthday this day and he was well known on campus. We went to some random club and I drank entirely too much this night. In a drunken stupor I told this guy that I loved him since the first time I saw him freshman year, to which he replied "I know." Bottles were popped and drinks flowed all night. This was an excellent birthday outside of me waking up with the worse hang over ever. However, I did get the guy. And I guess that's all that matters huh?
25 years old: Goodness...I have no clue what happened. Pretty sure I did nothing. I don't even think I was working at the time.
30 years old: ?!?! who knows?

What I do KNOW is that I don't want to be doing nothing. I am already pissed that my life plan did not work out the way it should have. Last year I was prepping to buy a house this year as a gift to myself. Now I will be lucky if I can buy myself a house by 35 years old.

I guess we will see what this weekend brings...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Why White People: Spitting on Others

This is some white shit. Seriously. I have NEVER (never!) NEVER seen a black person spit on someone else. Why? Because spitting on someone is the most trifling, ignorant, low class thing ever in life to do to anyone. This is not to say black people don't do this...but I just NEVER seen a black person do this but I have seen countless white people spit on blacks.

The first time was in high friends and I actually went to a club in Baltimore. Some argument ensued at the club and next thing you know, some white chick just spits in this latino girls face. Now I am shocked. I don't think I would ever think "yo, let me just spit in this girl's face to shut her the fuck up." And I swear I think I'd have to kill someone...(or just cut them badly)...if they ever fixed their mouth to gather up any spit with the intent to spit in my face. Actually a guy I dated in high school did try to spit on me once after someone peed on their car. He was becoming abusive...and I only hope his wife isn't getting her ass beat on the daily but I digress. This is a mess.

Spitting on someone basically means you have no respect for that person. How pissed must you be during an argument that the only recourse you have is to spit on them...and in their face? Apparently this is big on tv tho. We all remember the infamous Pumpkin spitting on NY. I still don't understand how Pumpkin is not in a cast somewhere...but I guess it's "staged" but there is no amount of money I'd ever accept to allow some one to spit on me like I am some shit on the street. People should really STOP worshiping money. Is it really worth losing your pride for $10K? (and I think I feel a certain way about white people spitting on minorities but that's another topic...)

The  next season on Flavor of Love (or some other dating "reality" show VH1 put on) someone else spit on someone else. I am sure it happened quite frequently on VH1 but I am not to vested in spitting to look up all of the vidoes. (ironically: I am watching Sopranos and this chick Tracy JUST spit in dude's face because he called her a cock sucking whore). To add further fuel to the fire...this Tuesday on Real World: Washington DC, the white chick will spit in the black guy's face (they just had sex last maybe that's what he's into).

I don't get it. How is this okay behave? How is this even an option? I just can't imagine thinking this is okay of cool. I'm venting. LOL. But seriously...this was a good idea? :

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Throwback: Why I am NOT a singer

go about 4 minutes into this video...(some of you saw this before but I know we need a laugh)


Monday, January 4, 2010