Saturday, December 26, 2009

Procrasination is a mutha...

I am so lazy.
I procrasinate until the very last moment and then I get it done. This is good and bad. It's good because when I am hard pressed for time I write my best stuff. It's bad because I end up staying up late and I often miss deadlines doing this.

Currently I am putting off writing my grant. I feel very bad about this because I am constantly saying "I am about to work on it" or something to that effect; and in essence, I am. The newest grant is I should be working on is a professional development one that is given out by my former grad school. It's not a lot of money but it's enough for me to join two organizations (which will boost my resume) and attend one national meeting (both of which are being hosted in Colorado this year). And it's not even a long grant. Two pages max with a copy of my current resume. But for some reason, I can't find the focus I need to actually WRITE out the 2 pages that are due by Jan 15. I did the budget. Money is easy. The essay portion is a mess. I started it three times and scrapped it. Add on the fact that I need a recommendation. My boss said "yeah gurl, write it and I will review it and sign it." So add another page that needs to be done in two weeks.

I will be beyond pissed at myself if I can't make this happen. As I type this blog I am thinking..."You really could be writing your grant instead" but I can't seem to  start it correctly. I could try to write it backwards, but when I do that I lose consistency and flow.

According to psychologist, procrastination is a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety. I believe this. Sometimes it seems as there is so much pressure to complete or finish tasks that I can't focus or deal with it and would rather work on it later. It is also prominent in people who have ADD or ADHD. Now I was diagnosed with ADD as a youth but "grew" out of it (or did I?!?). At times I think I have Adult ADD because I am so easily distracted it's ridiculous.

So instead of writing the grant that can help me spice up my resume and better my professional standing, I choose to blog, twit, play sorority life on facebook, and work on ChaCha (which I've been bullshitting too...I do just enough to get paid each month).

Procrastination is a muthaf*cker.

1 comment:

  1. I justify my frequent procrastination by convincing myself that I'm one of those people who works better under pressure.