Sunday, July 5, 2009

What is the point of boyfriends/girlfriends?

Sidenote: This is an extension of my post *over there* but I know a majority of my readers don't visit that site, so I will bring it over here and add a little to it.

I have been thinking about this for a long time. I honestly don't see the point of people "committed" if they aren't getting married in the future. I don't see why a person (male or female) should say "hey you are the only one until the perfect one comes around..." It's crazy. If I am dating a guy and I don't think he's the one, or vice versa, then I don't care if I am the only one or not. I'd rather do me, and let him do him and we can do us when we are together. Let's enjoy our time together, and as long as we respect each other, it's all good.

I think monogamy is a wonderful thing...however, there are people who decide to be committed to some loser for the sake of raw sex or comfort. Many people hate to be alone and feel safe being in a committed relationship. I am not knocking that. It's just not for me.

If I meet you and I am feeling you, and you feeling me, then we can do this. Some may call this "casual" dating. And most people would say "why would you want to sleep around?"

okay hold and sex are two different things. I love going out with different people. I like having options. I like dating. When it comes to sex, I am picky. I don't have sex with every guy I am dating. Sex is a sacred and wonderful event. I am all about free love, I think men and women should sleep with who they want as long as they are safe about it.

In my lifetime of dating (I guess the past, 16 years?) I have had only 4 boyfriends. All of whom I thought I would marry one day. Each man I was with for at least 2 years, and for whatever reason it didn't work out. If I dated a man and asked if he would have want to get married and he said no, then he would never become my boyfriend. Now there was a guy in college I met and he laid everything out there, and said what he did and didn't want. And we ended up "dating" for 6 years. We never had a problem or an issue. No arguments, no problems. When we were together, it was wonderful. When we were apart, I went on with my life and he did his. There was no stress. That's how things should be.

Dating for years is not my cup of tea unless it's leading to a ring on my finger. If that is not your intent, I am fine with that. Just be honest. We can have fun, but I don't need to be your "girlfriend", I am perfectly content just being your "friend".

or maybe I am waiting on some ole' Keri Hilson "Knocks You Down" type action?


  1. You're like my sister! :) She is the exact same way.
    Me, I don't even wanna date unless it's gonna be serious. People don't understand when I say it takes ages for me to fall in love and unless I AM in love I will NOT call someone my boyfriend. And if I don't think I COULD fall in love with someone I won't even go on a date with him. Everything else is a waste of time TO ME. If other ppl wanna do that, no problem. But I don't wanna waste my time "dating" someone that I KNOW I'm not gonna marry and because of this miss the chance to meet the ONE. So that's why ever since Mr. Caliber I haven't been on a date and don't even plan on it for a long time. So I've been single for two years now, who cares. Of course, I miss the affectionate stuff.. who doesn't like those things. But getting that kinda stuff from just anyone wouldn't make me happy either, so I'll be patient until my Creator helps me meet the ONE.

  2. I agree 100% with what you saying unfortunatley it isn't always that simple. Sex can bring about deep emotions. For many women it is so much more than just a physical act for the means of satisfaction. But I love doesn't have to be about sex either. Company that u enjoy is one of lifes pleasures! -jestsweetness

  3. It is because we are taught that bf/gf experiences are supposed to be practice but at the same time 'we aren't married' so we can do what we want to do. I think that is where the issues lie with it. @ emotions, feelings, issues that come from being just bf/gf. Some people (Like yourself) have come to the astute conclusion that it would be better to just go with things as they come and enjoy each other when you are together. Our time together is our time together..Jay-Z