Monday, May 4, 2009

The "following" blog

On Friday I wrote a blog entitled "I am a follower because I don't follow you". The blog was full of my aggression, frustration, and confusion. It was a mess of a blog. And so incoherent. I took it down to rearrange my thoughts so it wouldn't look like I was tripping or going crazy. In the midst of that, the person who inspired the blog and I had a talk. After that talk, I decided to leave things be. What I said in the blog I meant. It wasn't over the top but it was everywhere. And I meant it at all.
I am at the point now where my goal in life is to just be myself. Not anyone else. I don't follow anyone. I never have, never will. But apparently I can not explain myself to anyone nor can I can make anyone understand how I feel inside. This is MY life. And right now I feel lost in it. It shouldnt' be this way.
But to be the bigger person I will respect the other person's wishes. I won't talk about him or refer to him anymore in my blogs, my facebook, twitter...wherever. It will be like he doesn't exist.
But I do exist. :)
And I will still be here even as the world crumbles down around me.
I just want to be happy.

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