Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Crossroads

Where to begin?

Well, I think I am done with Baltimore. Actually I have been done with Baltimore if I really think about it but I somehow couldn't leave. But since 2009 has started, it seems like it doesn't matter anymore. I came to Maryland in 1996 and I cried for two months! My mom took me from my family and friends. Why would she hurt me like that? I still don't understand, and I guess I never will. She told me WHY we moved but my grandma was willing to let me stay with her. I wonder how life would be now. But what can you do?

Two years after moving to Maryland, I moved to Baltimore and I have been here since. I finished undergrad in 2002 and I finished grad school in 2007. There was so much that I could have done with my life. But I didn't. Now I regret it. And as I get up every morning to drive to my job, I feel incomplete. I am done with Baltimore. I loved it but now I feel stuck. I messed up with Hopkins, which essentially means I can't go back there (although my ex supervisor is very much willing to give me a recommendation). So what are my choices? The State or the City Health Department.

I am done.

I decided whatever state gets me first is where I am going. I think it's quite tacky of me tho to try to leave now, however, waiting is stupid. I am lucky that my new job is at the same place at my old job so I can list it as being "June 2007-present". Yes I know. Bad me! but who cares. I am trying to stay on the east coast, so NY, NJ, PA (maybe but not really), VA and NC is where I am looking. Its hard to look out of state, and I might resort to using my families and friends addresses on cover letters as my "local address". My girls are moving to ATL. I am not really interested tho the CDC is there and fellowships are nice! It's just further away from my family than I'd like to be. The preference is really for VA. It's inbetween NC and MD. ALL my family lives in VA and I can help my grandma so she can retire. Next is NY for the experience. THen everything else just falls around it.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am >< to Peace Corp it. I keep saying that. They aren't "hiring" again until 2010 from what I hear. Which works out well for me. I could apply and see what's up, where I would go and take it from there. I could also do "Teach America" which was a plan years ago. I'd rather teach Level 5 special ed (down syndrome, autistic, mentally challenged), but I don't have the experience, but I dont mind taking classes to get certified. Both jobs will allow me to write off some of my school loans. Grad school was crazy expensive.

I am just sooo over it. Andthe economy sucking right now is making it hard to make moves. But I am still going to try, wish me luck.

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