Thursday, April 23, 2009

Love of my life...

(this the updated revised repost of my myspace blog)

guess my first question should be: Are you in love with hip hop? And if so, when did you fall in love with hip hop?

yes I am watching "Brown Sugar" for what might be the 1000th time. I am in love with this movie. I have it on DVD but I still watch it each and every time it comes on tv. Tonight, it's on ABC Family. So now I am curious and I really want to know YOUR share. I'll go first.

When I was younger, I knew rap songs but I wasn't a fan of hip hop. I liked RnB and Pop music. I would listen to Q94 in Richmond every night while writing in my journal. In the margins of my journal, I'd jot down the songs on the top 5 at 10, making notes about which songs were my favorites and which songs I needed to get on cassette single. Then one morning, while getting ready for school I heard "Southernplayalistic". I think I lost it. I was 14.

Dre and Big Boi did their thing on that song. To this day it's one of my favorite hip hop songs of all times. I bought the cd a few weeks later and was in love with the whole thing. So Outkast introduced me to hip hop. LOL. the next cd was Snoop Dogg and then Dr. Dre's "The Chronic". A few months later I was in love with NY. Wu Tang and Smif N Wessun stole my heart. I would recite "bucktown" in my room while my sister would play with her dolls. My then boyfriend said it was weird for girls to like those types of rap songs. Queen Latifah should be more my speed. But hearing about the Gods and the Earths, Supreme Mathematics intrigued me. Raekwon and Ghostface were my niggas. So much so, I swore that I was going to name my first son Raekwon after hearing "Only built for cuban linx" (i can prove this, in my old journals I have a list of boy names and Raekwon repeated quite a few times). You couldn't tell me shit about hip hop.

that was 14 years ago. Half of my life. That's when I fell in love with hip hop. And to this day "southernplayalistic" is my favorite Outkast cd.

WRITER'S NOTE: Okay so I bring this blog back up because Last Friday on Bucktown TV (look to your see those links, and it says bucktown tv live Friday from 12-2...every there) Buckshot was talking about how when you first hear an artist, that's the HIGH point. Kind of like the first time you do drugs, the first high is always the best. So when you first hear an artist that connects to you, you always remember that point. While he was talking all I did was think about Mos Def. How people HATE his new shit now but was so in love with BOBS. I got to be honest, I am in love with "The New Danger". It was different but so good. I loved that he took it to that next level and if you tell me "Boogeyman Song" sucks you a bold face liar. So people are always chasing after that first experience with an artist, so it's hard for an artist to live up to their debut. I get that. I am so paraphrasing right now but you get it.

Either way. First time I heard Mos and Kweli (we all know that's my favorite rapper and I am SO on it right now and this blog is named after his album)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

A Change is Going to come

change (verb) to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion; to change the course of history.

Everyone I know is talking about "Change" (can we say Obama?)! I don't know if it's the recession, the retrograde of Mercury, or just life in general, but everyone is looking for change. I don't know how many people in my circle have "changed"; religion, location, relationships. It is amazing. I am looking for change too.
I realize now it's time to move on, I think I said this earlier. Last week my boss "talked" to me twice. Once was about my criminal record. She asked me if I lied on my application. I told her that the application asked if I was "convicted" and I have NEVER been convicted of anything. My record doesn't show a conviction, it shows a PBJ. But that's NOT a conviction. And I never lied about it, and if they do background checks, it's readily seen. But she was attitudinal about it. I submitted my papers for an expungement the next day. There was only one other time this was a big deal and it was in 2006. I got offered a job and they rescinded the offer after my finger print check. I should have taken care of this then but no other job ever cared. Either way the first one is being processed, and it takes 90 days. Hopefully that's an exageration and I will be good soon.
The second time was because I sent out a doodle link with possible meeting days before checking her schedule. This shit is honestly stupid and a small mistake. The ironic part is that the ONLY day everyone could meet was the day she was here. So in all actuality it wasn't a problem; I think she is looking for reasons to be upset. I knew that after the first talk. I am just waiting for the "axe" even though I know she has no real reason. But she will probably make an issue where these is one. She kept saying she was "livid" I'd not consult her calendar. Okay I was pressed for time and just sent the link. We got the meeting scheduled, there is no real conflict is there? All I can do is apologize and be more mindful in the future. But that was the straw.
I'd quit now but I don't know how long it will take me to find a new job. I have enough money to be good for 2 months (would have more but alas, I had to get my license back and other car bills popped up). I have my part time job and I can go hard on that and be alright. Either way I have been looking for a new job for two weeks.

I decided to go back to Virginia.

New York would be better but it cost too much and the competition is too steep. That hasn't deterred me from trying, I am just being real. North Carolina is also a choice. I am somewhat hesitant about here. But I have tried. Just waiting on calls. VA is the best choice for now. I'd like to go back and help my grandma. She is alone and working hard. She shouldn't have to at her age.
There are more that I'd like to make. and I am making but this is the biggest decision. I'd like to be out of Baltimore by August. Let's see if I can make this happen.
Wish me luck.

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Coraline Dunks

They finally came! I won them about a month ago. Limited Edition Coraline Dunks. There was only 1000(or 2000) made. However, you can not buy these anywhere BUT ebay and some people got them going for $4000. I would attempt to sale mine but I realized there was no point. Someone got a size 6 (mine are a 5.5) and the are only up to $50. These shoes "costs" $200. So the VERY minimum I would accept is $500 because there was only 50 my size made.

I love them already. I like them a lot with my grey skinny jeans.

This is the bottom of the shoe. Interesting blue color. the inside of the shoe is that color too. I am so in love. Do you like them? do you LOVE them? I do. I have a whole outfit planned if I ever get the chance to go anywhere special. LOL.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Crossroads

Where to begin?

Well, I think I am done with Baltimore. Actually I have been done with Baltimore if I really think about it but I somehow couldn't leave. But since 2009 has started, it seems like it doesn't matter anymore. I came to Maryland in 1996 and I cried for two months! My mom took me from my family and friends. Why would she hurt me like that? I still don't understand, and I guess I never will. She told me WHY we moved but my grandma was willing to let me stay with her. I wonder how life would be now. But what can you do?

Two years after moving to Maryland, I moved to Baltimore and I have been here since. I finished undergrad in 2002 and I finished grad school in 2007. There was so much that I could have done with my life. But I didn't. Now I regret it. And as I get up every morning to drive to my job, I feel incomplete. I am done with Baltimore. I loved it but now I feel stuck. I messed up with Hopkins, which essentially means I can't go back there (although my ex supervisor is very much willing to give me a recommendation). So what are my choices? The State or the City Health Department.

I am done.

I decided whatever state gets me first is where I am going. I think it's quite tacky of me tho to try to leave now, however, waiting is stupid. I am lucky that my new job is at the same place at my old job so I can list it as being "June 2007-present". Yes I know. Bad me! but who cares. I am trying to stay on the east coast, so NY, NJ, PA (maybe but not really), VA and NC is where I am looking. Its hard to look out of state, and I might resort to using my families and friends addresses on cover letters as my "local address". My girls are moving to ATL. I am not really interested tho the CDC is there and fellowships are nice! It's just further away from my family than I'd like to be. The preference is really for VA. It's inbetween NC and MD. ALL my family lives in VA and I can help my grandma so she can retire. Next is NY for the experience. THen everything else just falls around it.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am >< to Peace Corp it. I keep saying that. They aren't "hiring" again until 2010 from what I hear. Which works out well for me. I could apply and see what's up, where I would go and take it from there. I could also do "Teach America" which was a plan years ago. I'd rather teach Level 5 special ed (down syndrome, autistic, mentally challenged), but I don't have the experience, but I dont mind taking classes to get certified. Both jobs will allow me to write off some of my school loans. Grad school was crazy expensive.

I am just sooo over it. Andthe economy sucking right now is making it hard to make moves. But I am still going to try, wish me luck.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

New Mos Def

Ya'll know I am a fan. I think his live show is dope. New album coming soon (June 9, 2009) so you know what that means: TOUR!!!!
I love it.
Check out this sneak peek...
Mos Def - Flowers - The Ecstatic avail 6/9/09

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Save "The Game"

Everyone who knows me KNOWS that "Girlfriends" was one of my favorite shows! Hands down, I loved it. And I was beyond sad when they decided to take it off the air without a proper send off. I knew it was the last season, I won't lie. The show had been changing, evolving. I evolved with it and I knew the end was near. But I thought they would have a series finale, complete with Toni coming back, Joan getting married, Lynn getting a good man and settled down (Back with sexy ass Sivad! I love you Saul Williams!!!! But she got him in real life right!!!! ) and Maya finishing another book. Alas, that didn't happen.

So now I am slightly upset. "The Game" is now my favorite show. The last two seasons have been my life! I have been through what Melanie went through, I feel so connected to her and it pisses me off that the show *might* be canceled. CW was dead wrong to move this show to Friday, it's like they wanted the show to fail! But we won't let that happen right? So the actors of the show made this video:

that's just amazing to me. So I had to spread it around. if you would like to post or visit the shows message board:

Hopefully they will get those hits by April 15. I hope the show gets picked up for another season and maybe even become an hour long! I would love it.

So show love!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Invisible Children

A year or two I was introduced to the "Invisible Children of Uganda". I actually saw a flyer for the documentary on another site and frantically searched Youtube to find out more. I managed to watch the whole documentary and was moved to tears. There was a boy, no older than 12, saying he wished he was dead because he had nothing left in life. He'd rather be dead with the rest of his family. I was moved. So recently I found out about national Rescue Day for the Invisible Children. This will take place on April 25. Please visit the site below and learn how you can help. If you can donate money, that would be great too. If not, please help by petitioning your government to help.

Here is the trailer to the movie:

if you are interested in watching the documentary, I would advise you to purchase it. But I know the economy is bad.EDIT: Google video link:

This movie is part of the reason I feel incomplete. I wish there was MORE I could do. I wish I was there, working with these organizations! I was meant for more than just working the menial 9 to 5 I work. I'd rather do something bigger than me! Anyway, check it out. Let me know what you think!