Sunday, March 29, 2009

Locs: Yes, No...Maybe

I have to be honest, my hair is killing me. Natural hair is work! I mean, I wear braids will I am waiting to grow my hair out from that super short cut in August. But when I have to deal with my own hair, I am like "damn". It takes me a good 2 hours to go through washing, conditioning, detangling, etc. I am soo low maintenance. It's not funny.
Now I won't even front, for the past...10 years or so, I have debated locs. My old pal, Monte and his wife had locs back in the day. However, they cut them off due to religious reasons (and I got to be honest again, I still think they are confused because MANY main figures of the Christian bible had locs but *they* won't tell you that). Then I saw Goapele. Lord, that woman is gorgeous.

She rocks her hair in so many different styles. I feel in love. I mean my braids are reminiscent of her locs. I can feel that.


So now as I continue on my natural hair journey, I am feenin' for the locs. My poor hair dresser (shout out to Native African Hair Braiding in Baltimore) hates me!! I have the thickest hair of all. and it loves to curl up extra short. I don't know how long my hair will be once it's twisted. I hate the thought of having extra short hair. But it is just hair. And if I hate it, I can always cut it again and grow it back out. Not a big deal right.
I don't know.
I have loved locs since I was little. And I am not being "lazy". I don't think locs are the easy way out. but I want natural hair but I keep wearing braids. It just makes sense right. I think I'd look good, right?!?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


It's been a since I have enjoyed a female girl group. But Electrik Red. What can I say? I am not even going to lie, I was hating HARD. I first saw them on 106 and Park and they premiered their video "So Good". The video is wack. Straight up. And they are Canadian. And we all know how Canadians are. LOL. So I didn't bother really listening to the song but I do remember saying to myself "this is some 90s shit". Later on that week, I heard the joint on the radio. Let me just say, I enjoyed it. So now I am like who are these chicks?!? Well I researched some. Found some other songs by them ("ya'll don't fuck us, n*gga we fuck you). WOW. Okay so I am a fan. I just wanted to share my favorite video by them (thus far) because I am digging the bathroom scene. These bitches are hot.

Electrik Red Featuring The Dream "Drink In My Cup"

Monday, March 16, 2009

We are the Bears!!!

I just have to rep for Morgan State, my alma mater, real quick. Words can not begin to describe how much I love Morgan. I loved it from the moment I stepped foot on campus in August of 1998. I was anxious at first but within a week, it was like "home". I fell in love with the people, the campus, my classes...everything. And the day I graduated, I actually had to fight back tears! Sidenote: I am pissed that I think I lost my graduation tape. I carried my video camera from the start of graduation to the end.

Yes my eyes are a mess! But it was dope. And I will rep hard for Morgan (my namesake too but that's another blog) til I die. I met some of my best friends there (Bubbles and Cas!) and learned what real love was (I ain't naming names but he already knows!). I also learned how deceptive people could be and how smart I really wasn't. But I managed to finish in 4 years and I am glad.

so you KNOW when Morgan won the MEAC this weekend, I went crazy. This was like years in the making. I know all my Morgan heads remember when that college basketball came out and the ad for it was shot at Morgan's new basketball court and said something to the effect that now "even Morgan can get to the big dance". It was a slap in the face but at least Morgan got some money out of it.

But now we are going. The game is Thursday, March 19 @ 940 pm. I believe the game will be on CBS. We are playing the #2 team, Oklahoma. So I already know but don't steal my joy.

We are the bears, we don't take no mess!

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Struggle Continues..

I am mad at myself and rightfully so. Mad, angry, anxious, nervous. It's not a great time for me right now but I am trying to be positive. I can't truly explain to people how I feel (trapped in a box, struggling to break free, bound to things that I don't want) but it's suffice to say that everything I am experiencing now is my own fault.

I clearly ignored way to many things and now, in 2009, I am paying for it. Financially and spiritually. LOL. I try to laugh to keep from crying as I am hit with one thing after the other because I just KNOW that once this is over, everything will be fine but sometimes it feels like that mountain is just TOO high for me climb. Sometimes I get mad at my parents for not teaching me better, and sometimes I mad at myself for not knowing better. It's really too late to be angry. I need to do what I need to do.

But ME, having to write $1000 checks every other week for dumb mess I did is not hot. I am sitting here now with another infraction on my head trying to figure out how I will fix THIS one. I don't have the funds, don't have the time to go through it, and I am unprepared to cry and beg to the people to let me go this once. They had pardoned me once before in 2003 for $4500 and I am thankful that has not popped back up. It's times like this I REALLY wish I lived in NY so I wouldn't have to worry about having a car or getting from point a to b. Hell living in DC would even be better! This shit is stressful. And I am hustling hard at the PT job trying to re-stack the dough I keep losing but as soon as I get paid from Peter, I have to pay Paul. And it will be this way for a while. I just Thank God that I got the new job before everything started tumbling down. I would be SOL if this was going on while I was still at my old job.

And then it's not just money, it's my life in general. It does not suck but I am certainly not where I want nor need to be. I just want to leave for a while. Get a job that allows me to explore the real me. I want to be out and about helping people, all over. Not sitting in my office, stressing over my life and how will I hustle up the next $3G I need by next weekend. I just want to be able to let everything GO and just BE. Me, one suitcase, one dream, going around the world. Helping people. Learning.

No bills to worry about (isn't that we all want), no rent, car note, insurance, credit cards, credit reports...none of that. it's funny, I was happier when I was homeless.

I guess me being homeless will be the next blog. I am blessed. It's just hard sometimes. And it's only me.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Man Who Didn't Kill Malcolm X b/w Black books

So yeah I meant to do more for Black History month but alas, I have been busy. But even tho it's over, Black History is still important. I have recently began to read books again (YAY!!!) and I am a bit discriminatory.
I only buy African American books. Some are classics, some are new. My favorite book of all time is "The Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison. If you are a black woman and have NOT read this book, I beg you to read it. There are some women who will say that Toni Morrison is too difficult to read. I feel this is her "Easiest" read but also the most critical on how black women view themselves. The book overwhelms me in so many ways and I swear I can read it over and over. Each time I read it, I learn something new. The book is a "beautiful struggle". LOL.

This week I purchased two new books, "White Lines" by Tracy Brown and "72 Hour Hold" by Bebe Campbell Moore. I want to get Things Fall Apart by Chinea Achebe but I will wait. I think it's important for black people to first of all: READ. But more importantly, support black authors and read black, esp Classic, literature. It puts life and our struggle into a better perspective.

Now don't get it twisted, I love all types of literature. Some of my favorite books is "She comes undone" and "The Five People you meet in heaven", however, it hurts me somewhat to go into a book store and see one shelf dedicated to "African American books". Black History and contributions are more than one shelf so I figure the only way to get more books on shelves is if we buy more books. So I buy more books. And if you can recommend any good ones, let me know because I want a fierce book collection. My library is already bigger than the shelf in Borders in WhiteMarch Mall.

Part Two:
my friend is working on this documentary and it looks beyond dope. Check it out and leave feedback about it. it's worth it

Khalil Islam: The Man Who DID NOT Kill Malcolm X Trailer from Bucktown USA on Vimeo.